Tuesday, June 15, 2010


"It's the friends you can call at 4am that matter" -- Marlene Dietrich


If I was gonna write a song, it would be called 4:00am Friends using the Dietrich quote as part of the chorus.   

It's the friends you can call at 4am that matter
It's the friend who is instantly awake
It's the friend who says "I'll be right there"
It's the friend who flys across the country just because you are in need
It's the friend who never asks "What were you thinking?"
It's the friend who hears your pain
It's the friend who says "I love you-hang on til I get there"
It's the friend who makes a pot of coffee & talks to you on phone while all the world is sleeping
It's the friend who never judges, but offers sound advice
It's the friend who offers counsel & tells you things will turn out alright
It's the friend who says "Come stay with me - we will find the way together"
It's the friend who cries along with you even when they think the guy is a bastard
It's the friend who never says "I told you so"
It's the friend who asks "What can I do, what do you need, are you ok?"
It's the friends you can call at 4am that matter


These are the friends that we hope, at least once in our lives, that we have.  It is the friend we hope to be when someone is hurting.  I know who are on that list in my life.  I know who I can, & have called, at 4am.  I know what it is to come instantly awake, ready for whatever that call or knock on the door is bringing.   This is unconditional love, a servant's spirit.  This is truly loving someone else at least as much as yourself but in truth loving them more.  Being ready for spiritual warfare at times, being ready to jump in the truck & load up their stuff at another, or simply being the shoulder they can cry on.  To drive where ever it is that they can be safe.  It is calling the cops because you just might kill the bastard for what he did & he ain't worth sittin' in jail about.  It is crying at the tragedy, comforting others, making breakfast, calling friends & relatives with the news.  It is sitting at a hospital bedside, it is taking charge, it is just being there.  It is sitting quietly because words are not necessary.  It is holding hands because that is all you can do.  It is being strong for someone else & breaking down privately.  It is 4am, & you just got the call.

~~blessed be...

Saturday, June 12, 2010


Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! Oh Thank Goodness, It's Not Just Me! Movie


I had girl friends when I was a child, a teenager, a young woman.  But, oddly enough while I had female friends even a couple I qualified as "best" friends my close friends were all guys.  To this day, I still have very close guy friends.  They are a very important part of my life & a continued blessing. With no romantic ties we just seemed to click, to be able to connect on a different level, to gain insight from one another & to ask those questions you cannot ask or get real answers from a same sex friend (despite what we think, women really don't know what guys are thinking- you actually have to get clarification from a guy). 

In my second marriage I was, due to the abuse that began then escalated, cutoff from my past, my friends, my family.  As I entered my 40's I began to connect with female friends.  I know now that it was Great Spirit sending these particular women into my life to aide me on my Journey, to show me lessons I must learn, to guide me in my Growth.  The first of these women were in my life only for a Season, for the time that we needed each other, for the support, the love, the Growth that I know took place in my life & perhaps in their lives also.   I have completely lost touch with them, but I remember them fondly & cherish the time we had together.  They gave me strength & courage.

As I changed my life, my job, my location in my 40's I found other friends.  One particular young woman was a very unexpected find as a friend.  We were very different, at different places in our Journeys.  Raised differently, with different lives. But, when we worked together we became inseparable.  You very rarely saw one of us without the other.  We were a team & handled the job together.  She is still in my life.  Not daily, but from time to time we reconnect, catch up, chat for hours.  She is still a very important part of my life even though I have not seen her for over 10 years.  She is part of my Tribe, a sister-friend.  I am so proud of her two older children that I have watched grow up through the years to become wonderful, successful, giving, loving individuals who have found their place in the world as young adults.  It has been a pleasure to watch their Journeys from afar.

Over the last 10-12 yrs wonderful women have come into my life at different times.  Two that are also a part of my Tribe, sister-friends, came to me through my dearest brother.  They are a gift he gave me when he knew he would be leaving this Life for the Other Side.

One I have watched grow as a beautiful young woman with a loving, caring, giving Spirit.  She does a Mission trip each year now.  I am so very proud of the woman she is becoming.  She is someone that I "clicked" with immediately.  We live an hour apart & sometimes that is just too far to get together as much as we would like, but when we are together it is a blessing & I cherish her friendship.

The other lives across the ocean much too far for visits, but we stay in touch through FB, blogs, e-mail, & our heart-connection.  She supported Dave & me through his illness & death.  She loved him so much just as I do.  We supported each other when it was learned that her husband had the same cancer as Dave.  Then from thousands of miles apart I supported her as her beloved became more ill & then crossed over to join our darlin' Dave.  She is a part of my Tribe,  my heart-sister, the one who truly understands the struggle, the Journey.  She is my other half that I discovered on a hot Oklahoma afternoon then danced into the night with at a blues club.  We have an unbreakable bond, we have faced death together.  She is embedded deep within my Spirit-inseparable even when separated by distance.

Through this friend I have met, via blog, two wonderful young women in Canada.  I have been through the struggles/disappointments/tragedies in their lives with them.  Able to offer encourgement, sympathy, empathy to wonderful women whom I have yet to meet in person.  I hope to be able to actually just hug, hug, hug them someday.  They are important members of my Tribe also.  My sister-friends from afar.  They are such blessings to me through their wisdom, encouragement, & love for someone they have never met.  But, no matter, we have a strong bond.

Now, in my late 50's (OMG I am older than dirt), I have rediscovered a friend from high school.  We really weren't friends in school, didn't hang out, just had classes together.  Knew each other as kids in HS do.  Then we found each other on FB.  Immediate connection.  Again, separated by three states but not in our Spirits-our hearts.  We talk often by phone, e-mail, FB, text messages.  She is a fixture in my life, a blessing, & I cannot imagine not having her as a friend.   She is my Tribe, my sister-friend.

I have connected with new female friends through this blog.  One wonderful young woman lives in OKC & is such a blessing in my life.  I am old enough to be her mother, but we connect on a level that has nothing to do with age.  It is a spiritual connection.  I so admire her Journey.  Her road has not been easy all the time & she has faced big struggles.  I revel at the grace with which she has faced her life & the challenges.  I am so very proud of her.  When we speak by phone or in person the conversations are easy, carefree, & comfortable.  It is always, from the first moment, as if we have always known each other.  She brings a beauty to my life for which I am so grateful. 

What I have discovered in this Journey is that friendships can come from the most unexpected situations, at the most unexpected times.  Women you would never have thought might be a friend at first glance.  Women you have never met in person, but know so well through their writings.  There are several such women in my life that I visit daily through their blogs.  Sometimes a comment seems necessary, a bit of advice or wisdom to share, a word of encourgement, a hug & a blessing sent through the Universe, a prayer for healing.  They are all important in my Life, a part of this Journey.

The Seasons of My Life are not as long as they once were, I have reached Autumn.  I have friends who are in Spring, Summer, & Autumn.  I pray they will go through Winter with me.  These are the women that I want to see me safely on my Journey to the Other Side.

I dedicate the movie link to each of you: my friends, my Tribe, my sister-friends.  Friendships in my 50's are so much stronger, more appreciated, more loving, more important & meaningful than they ever where in my teens, 20's, & 30's.  Those, somehow, just seem now to have been so superficial even though I know they all shaped me in many different ways.  They allowed me to know the kind of friend I want to be as well as knowing the kind of friends I want in my life.  The Journey of that discovery began with the friends of my 40's & continues.  These are the friends of my Lifetime, forever a part of my Spirit.  I cannot wait to see where all of our Journeys lead us.

So whether it is for a Season or a Lifetime: cherish, honor, love, respect, be there for your female friends because they are a very important part of the Journey.  It is a community of love, strength, support, & caring.

~~blessed be...