Sunday, May 22, 2011


Last night I dreamed that I was with a very large group of people who seemed to be trying to help someone else.  At one point there was a large group of us gathered around a table for a meal & we were talking about how to best help this other person.  At some point, the person we were there to interact with came in & immediately began to verbally attack us.  Wanted us off his property, didn't want us talking to his family, etc.  During the conversation with my "group"  I had been talking about shape shifting - changing from myself into my totem.  I have always been interested in shape shifting but had never associated it with becoming my totem.  My totem has been with me since childhood & often comes to me in my dreams, in meditation, during Reiki, & in my everyday life.  I see him often.  Sometimes I see his pack.  But the Great Grey Wolf is always beside me.  The only time he has not been with me was when I sent him to Afghanistan with a friend's son who was serving there.  When the soldier came home safely, my totem returned to me but that young man is forever a part of my Tribe & has wolf medicine around him if he will call on it for help & guidance.

But, back to my dream.  As I have thought about it this morning, I know that the dream signifies the changes that are occuring in me with regard to becoming more in tune with my gifts.  I know it signifies a shifting of energy within me.  I also know that the person who was angry & throwing us off his property signifies that these shifts in energy & my expanding Enlightenment scare some people.  They are threatened by it because they do not understand it.  Also, because there was a group of like-minded people with me & I know it signifies the people with whom I am now coming in contact.  People who are also feeling the "shift" around us.  A growing conciousness of that which is greater, a shift of energy that is coming rapidly that will effect our Planet, our understanding of all that is unseen by human eyes, but that can be seem by Spiritual eyes.  That which is being revealed all around us to seerers, psychics, New Agers, seekers, teachers, Spiritual practitioners.  I believe that is what the Mayan Calendar is speaking of - a shift in energy, a shift in enlightenment, a shift in understanding that shift is being revealed to me & it came to me in my dream as a desire to become a Shape Shifter.

From Wikipedia:  Shapeshifting is a common theme in mythology and folklore as well as in science fiction and fantasy. In its broadest sense, it is when a being has the ability to alter its physical appearance. The transformation may be purposeful or not, depending on whether it has been the subject of a curse or spell. In some folklore, once the shapeshifter has become transformed, it becomes progressively more difficult for it to return to its original form.

From  Silver Shadow Wolf's webpage
There are two types of shapeshifting. One is where you meet your Power Animal and become one with it on the astral level. The other is where the Native Americans believed that you can change your physical form on the earth plane. Shamans are said to be able to change their physical self into their Power Animal thus becoming one. Some humans have been known to become possessed by their animal spirit and although they may not 'become' that animal, their bodies and voices take on their Power Animal features.

I have been told many times that I have "Wolf Eyes"  I know Great Grey & I have been connected on the astral level since I was 9 or 10.  In the past 15-20 yrs we have been becoming increasingly more connected on the physical level.  I think this dream was a confirmation that as my energy shifts I will begin to possess more & more of Great Grey's characteristics.  I already have many of them.  I am deeply loyal, I value teamwork, I am deeply tied to my Tribe (my Pack), once a relationship is damaged I do not trust that person again, I am solitary at times, I am comfortable observing without being seen, I know my terrain well, & I can travel miles without breaking stride (figuratively as well as physically).  

So, my shape is shifting.  My energy is shifting.  My Life is shifting.  Great Grey will be with me every step of the way guiding, protecting, walking beside me.  We are each other's Spiritual Alpha. 

The Journey continues as the Path becomes clearer!!

~~blessed be...

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Be your authentic self...

“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” -John Jakes


Well, life has been a bit hectic around here.  But I know the Universe is putting me where I need to be, not only for myself but for others, every moment of every day.  Maybe sometimes more for others than myself. 

My friend, Sparky's Mother has been having quite the Journey.  She fell the first part of the year, broke her back, spent 5 1/2 weeks in the hospital, had a procedure to fix her back, had a procedure to stretch her esophogus so she can eat, & then went back to live in her house where she has lived for almost 40 yrs.  BTW, she is 91 yrs old.  It became obvious to us that she could not live alone anymore when we realized that she once again was unable to eat properly.  Very little stayed down including water.  So we moved her to a wonderful assisted living center where she has home health care.  She was not happy even though she agreed to the move.  Then she fell twice but did not tell us.  So in the two weeks she had been there she fell twice, the not eating thing got worse, she decided she needed a wheelchair because she could not walk, developed two pressure sores on her backside, then slipped into what can only be described as a coma.  She could not be woken up, if she awoke she went right back to sleep.  So off to ER.  Now she is in hospital - finally awake, infection from the pressure sores but internally where it could not be seen, several different antibiotics, near death, visitations from Spirits, trips to a parallel plane of existance (I beleive between this Life & the Other Side).  Yesterday, she remembered my visit last week, remembered Sparky, said her "dreams" seemed so real.  She said she liked all the trips she took.  She went to Missouri one day. Sparky explained them to her the way I had explained them to him.  He told her it was ok to go the next time someone came for her.  She has adamantly stated she is not ready & they will have to drag her over.  So totally her.  So, I have once again been involved in elder medical emergencies.  We shall just have to wait & see how her Journey plays out.  Her Path may lead to the Other Side shortly & it may not for awhile.  She is getting rehab to help her regain her ability to walk but we know she will never be able to live alone again.  More decisions for Sparky to make.

I had mentioned that I was going for Reiki which was something I had been interested in for a very long time.  Figured I would have to make an out of town trip to do so, but as Destiny would have it there is a Third Level Reiki Master in my small Oklahoma town.  There are no accidents in the Universe.  So, I had my first session & it was AWESOME.  My Totem was there, I went into a very deep meditative state, & felt so good afterward.  I have had pain & stiffness in my upper neck where my spinal column meets my head for years.  Massage does not help, chiropractic does not help.  I no longer have that pain/stiffness.  I have now had 2 one hour sessions, & one 30 minute session.  During the last session I felt my right side between my shoulder & hip begin to spasm just under my rib cage.  I could only think it was a muscle spasm which I have had in that same spot several times during massage.  But as soon as I named the sensation, I saw it - a solid black mass that was probably 12 inches wide & 2-3 feet in length.  It was very dark, very ugly, & very heavy.  Then I felt it move, when it moved it dissapated & I felt the most wonderful feeling that can only be described as freedom sweep over me.  Then my Spirit floated out of my body & stayed just above me as the Reiki energy flowed through me.  I lost all sense of time & space.  I just was.  I am always saying to people "Just be" & that is what I did.  Everything went away & I was just present.  Mind clear, fully present.  That feeling has stayed with me ever since.  In case you are not familar with Reiki here is a link & some information.

REIKI(pronounced 'ray-key') is a natural therapy that uses healing energy to increase well-being, support healing, reduce pain and balance the body's energy.

Rei ... in the word Reiki means universal, all encompassing, everywhere. The Japanese kanji character for Rei means higher knowledge or spiritual consciousness, wisdom that comes from God Who can heal all things.

Ki ... in the word Reiki means life force energy. This energy is within all of us as long as we are alive. If this life energy is low, we are more prone to illness and dis-ease. Ki is the energy of our physical body, emotions, thoughts and spirit and is present in all living things.


Through finding my Reiki Master I have found a group of like-minded people.  People I never expected to find in OK, people I have been lamenting were not here for 10 yrs.  Now, at the right time I have found them.  When we were together the other night I said "I have been searching for so long, & now I am Home." "I have come Home".
This is a part of my Journey.  My Path is leading me onward toward the prophecy that a psychic predicted almost 20 yrs ago.  I am a healer.  So, I am going to become a Reiki practioner.  I will be taking my Level One class in June.  I am very much at peace with this decision. 

I am now going through my days peaceful, contented, positive, & with a feeling of inner Purpose.  I have stopped swearing, I am meditating every day.  I play soothing music in my office every day.  I am calm.  I smile at everyone (I did this alot anyway but now there is a different feel to it)  I am learning not to be sucked into the negativity of others.  I had a moment where that happened & it made me physically ill so I had to bless that person & release them to the care of the Universe but out of my life.  I just can no longer allow toxicity in my Journey. 

Most importantly I can just BE.  Be my true, authentic self.  Be in my beliefs with no need to explain them beyond "This is what I believe/feel"   Be conciously in Spirit.  Not just walk my Path, but to be my Path, be my Journey.  Know that I am a Spiritual being having a human experience.  An experience that I chose when I chose to come to this world in human form.  I hope to remember the lessons I said I wanted to learn here.  I hope to become the person I said I wanted to become.  I have taken many roads to get to this spot.  But I am where I am meant to be at this place in time.  And I know true joy.

Maybe I will find out why I am here again.  Do I have unfinished business, was a previous Journey cut short, did I not complete the mission I chose for myself, or did I just like it here & came back for another Experience?  Don't know yet.  I do know that I have been here at least once before.  I also know that  Cowboy, Ex #2, was in that life with me.  We lived in Nevada in the '80s.  One weekend we went to Virginia City which is now a tourist attraction.  We were just walking around, looking at different buildings, shops, etc.  As we stepped up on a sidewalk & took steps past a saloon I stopped.  I looked at him & said "We have done this before"  I could see us, knew who we were in the 1800's  I worked in that saloon, he was a gambler (as he is in this life also), & he had been killed in Virginia City.  I was his woman then too.  I have always thought we were together again because our Journey together before had been cut short before its appointed time.  I stayed with him for several years after I should have left (he was abusive) because I wanted to "do it right" this go around.  Don't know if we did or not.  I think about him often.  I loved him very much.

So, that's what's been up with me.  I am looking forward to learning more, becoming more Enlightened, & continuing to grow in this Journey.  Let's see where the Path leads.

~~blessed be...