Sunday, May 15, 2011

Be your authentic self...

“Be yourself. Above all, let who you are, what you are, what you believe, shine through every sentence you write, every piece you finish.” -John Jakes


Well, life has been a bit hectic around here.  But I know the Universe is putting me where I need to be, not only for myself but for others, every moment of every day.  Maybe sometimes more for others than myself. 

My friend, Sparky's Mother has been having quite the Journey.  She fell the first part of the year, broke her back, spent 5 1/2 weeks in the hospital, had a procedure to fix her back, had a procedure to stretch her esophogus so she can eat, & then went back to live in her house where she has lived for almost 40 yrs.  BTW, she is 91 yrs old.  It became obvious to us that she could not live alone anymore when we realized that she once again was unable to eat properly.  Very little stayed down including water.  So we moved her to a wonderful assisted living center where she has home health care.  She was not happy even though she agreed to the move.  Then she fell twice but did not tell us.  So in the two weeks she had been there she fell twice, the not eating thing got worse, she decided she needed a wheelchair because she could not walk, developed two pressure sores on her backside, then slipped into what can only be described as a coma.  She could not be woken up, if she awoke she went right back to sleep.  So off to ER.  Now she is in hospital - finally awake, infection from the pressure sores but internally where it could not be seen, several different antibiotics, near death, visitations from Spirits, trips to a parallel plane of existance (I beleive between this Life & the Other Side).  Yesterday, she remembered my visit last week, remembered Sparky, said her "dreams" seemed so real.  She said she liked all the trips she took.  She went to Missouri one day. Sparky explained them to her the way I had explained them to him.  He told her it was ok to go the next time someone came for her.  She has adamantly stated she is not ready & they will have to drag her over.  So totally her.  So, I have once again been involved in elder medical emergencies.  We shall just have to wait & see how her Journey plays out.  Her Path may lead to the Other Side shortly & it may not for awhile.  She is getting rehab to help her regain her ability to walk but we know she will never be able to live alone again.  More decisions for Sparky to make.

I had mentioned that I was going for Reiki which was something I had been interested in for a very long time.  Figured I would have to make an out of town trip to do so, but as Destiny would have it there is a Third Level Reiki Master in my small Oklahoma town.  There are no accidents in the Universe.  So, I had my first session & it was AWESOME.  My Totem was there, I went into a very deep meditative state, & felt so good afterward.  I have had pain & stiffness in my upper neck where my spinal column meets my head for years.  Massage does not help, chiropractic does not help.  I no longer have that pain/stiffness.  I have now had 2 one hour sessions, & one 30 minute session.  During the last session I felt my right side between my shoulder & hip begin to spasm just under my rib cage.  I could only think it was a muscle spasm which I have had in that same spot several times during massage.  But as soon as I named the sensation, I saw it - a solid black mass that was probably 12 inches wide & 2-3 feet in length.  It was very dark, very ugly, & very heavy.  Then I felt it move, when it moved it dissapated & I felt the most wonderful feeling that can only be described as freedom sweep over me.  Then my Spirit floated out of my body & stayed just above me as the Reiki energy flowed through me.  I lost all sense of time & space.  I just was.  I am always saying to people "Just be" & that is what I did.  Everything went away & I was just present.  Mind clear, fully present.  That feeling has stayed with me ever since.  In case you are not familar with Reiki here is a link & some information.

REIKI(pronounced 'ray-key') is a natural therapy that uses healing energy to increase well-being, support healing, reduce pain and balance the body's energy.

Rei ... in the word Reiki means universal, all encompassing, everywhere. The Japanese kanji character for Rei means higher knowledge or spiritual consciousness, wisdom that comes from God Who can heal all things.

Ki ... in the word Reiki means life force energy. This energy is within all of us as long as we are alive. If this life energy is low, we are more prone to illness and dis-ease. Ki is the energy of our physical body, emotions, thoughts and spirit and is present in all living things.


Through finding my Reiki Master I have found a group of like-minded people.  People I never expected to find in OK, people I have been lamenting were not here for 10 yrs.  Now, at the right time I have found them.  When we were together the other night I said "I have been searching for so long, & now I am Home." "I have come Home".
This is a part of my Journey.  My Path is leading me onward toward the prophecy that a psychic predicted almost 20 yrs ago.  I am a healer.  So, I am going to become a Reiki practioner.  I will be taking my Level One class in June.  I am very much at peace with this decision. 

I am now going through my days peaceful, contented, positive, & with a feeling of inner Purpose.  I have stopped swearing, I am meditating every day.  I play soothing music in my office every day.  I am calm.  I smile at everyone (I did this alot anyway but now there is a different feel to it)  I am learning not to be sucked into the negativity of others.  I had a moment where that happened & it made me physically ill so I had to bless that person & release them to the care of the Universe but out of my life.  I just can no longer allow toxicity in my Journey. 

Most importantly I can just BE.  Be my true, authentic self.  Be in my beliefs with no need to explain them beyond "This is what I believe/feel"   Be conciously in Spirit.  Not just walk my Path, but to be my Path, be my Journey.  Know that I am a Spiritual being having a human experience.  An experience that I chose when I chose to come to this world in human form.  I hope to remember the lessons I said I wanted to learn here.  I hope to become the person I said I wanted to become.  I have taken many roads to get to this spot.  But I am where I am meant to be at this place in time.  And I know true joy.

Maybe I will find out why I am here again.  Do I have unfinished business, was a previous Journey cut short, did I not complete the mission I chose for myself, or did I just like it here & came back for another Experience?  Don't know yet.  I do know that I have been here at least once before.  I also know that  Cowboy, Ex #2, was in that life with me.  We lived in Nevada in the '80s.  One weekend we went to Virginia City which is now a tourist attraction.  We were just walking around, looking at different buildings, shops, etc.  As we stepped up on a sidewalk & took steps past a saloon I stopped.  I looked at him & said "We have done this before"  I could see us, knew who we were in the 1800's  I worked in that saloon, he was a gambler (as he is in this life also), & he had been killed in Virginia City.  I was his woman then too.  I have always thought we were together again because our Journey together before had been cut short before its appointed time.  I stayed with him for several years after I should have left (he was abusive) because I wanted to "do it right" this go around.  Don't know if we did or not.  I think about him often.  I loved him very much.

So, that's what's been up with me.  I am looking forward to learning more, becoming more Enlightened, & continuing to grow in this Journey.  Let's see where the Path leads.

~~blessed be...

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