Sunday, December 28, 2008

My present

This is my new bike--courtesy of Sparky for Christmas!! I have been wanting one for ages & found this one online at Wal-Mart after seeing it featured on a Today show segment. Well, I was looking at a recliner when Sparky was shopping for a chair (we redecorated his living room) & he told me "I will get it for you if you want since you haven't told me what you want Santie to bring you" Well, I took that opportunity to mention the beach cruiser. So.....That's what I got. I hadn't ridden a bike in at least 40 years but I just hopped on & took off (Sparky found the bike at our local store so no need to ship it--YEAH!!). I am so stoked to have it. Right now it is sitting in my spare bedroom & I ride whenever the weather permits. I am still building up my stamina (I was in worse shape than I thought), but I am planning on riding everyday come Spring, Summer, Fall. This will be a big boon to my weight loss program (10-12 lbs already). Also, I will be able to take one of the furbabies with me on leash to trot along beside--I watch a lot of the Dog Whisperer LOL. Anyway, that is my Christmas present. Happy peddling to me!!

Blessed be...

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Merry Christmas to All

Merry Christmas!!! I hope everything you wished for was under your tree, that your guests have arrived safely, & that you have a joyous day celebrating the birth of Jesus.
I will be off in a couple of hours to enjoy Christmas dinner with Sparky & his Mom at her house. She loves to cook for us! I was planning to stay home & read, listen to some music, watch a movie. When I told Sparky he said "But aren't you coming to my Mother's? You know she is cooking for us" Well, I knew she was cooking for him. Seems she expects me too. I was so touched. She has been such a blessing in my life. She just stepped right in when my Mom was being so hateful to me. Now, she just considers me family, too (I have known her my whole life). So, since my Mom & stepdad aren't celebrating Christmas I will be with my MIL & Sparky.
Blessed be...

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Christmas Eve

I hope tonight is magical for each of you, for your children, & your entire family!! May the joy of the Season fill your hearts tonight as we celebrate the joyous reason for the Season. My Christmas wish for each of you is:

  • unconditional love
  • true friendship
  • boundless joy
  • good health
  • happiness
  • prosperity of Spirit
  • knowledge of Great Spirit
  • the knowledge that you are one of a kind, here on this Adventure for a great purpose, & valued beyond measure

Merry Christmas !!!!!!!!!!!!

Blessed be....

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Aquarius Tues, 12/23/08
1/20 – 2/18

If you have deep feelings for someone who has wronged you, making a fresh start can be challenging. Moving completely past grudges and anger is often impossible to do. So if you are feeling like you want to stop trying to put the past behind you, then take a break from being the bigger person. Get your distance from the people who don't make you feel good about yourself. Let time show you whether you should keep someone in your life, or let them know that it is time to move on.
Yesterday I received a package from Big Guy in Seattle. It was a lovely photograph of a wolf pack as well as a beautiful collector plate with an Indian maiden & a wolf. They are both just beautiful & I was very surprised to get them since we have not spoken in quite a while ( I called a timeout to our phone conversations a few months ago). Our friendship has run its course, he said some very hurtful things to me (one was about my brother) & I called it quits on the phone conversations--told him I needed a break, explained how he was making me feel about myself & how hurtful his approach to me & others was to me, how uncomfortable it made me (we have known each other since we were 14 & were engaged for about a year a few years ago & have kept in touch). There was no card, nothing just the two items. So I have written a quick thank you letter & also explained that it is time for our friendship to be over. I explained it has just become too unsettling to me each time we speak. He is one of those men who thinks if I express a complaint about something he has to tell me how to fix it. Not what I need (The Sparkman just lets me rant, then tell him my plan & he either agrees or not, but he has never told me what to do--I think he knows better LOL). Anyway, this horoscope today was just what I needed & I believe it speaks of the relationship that must now end. Sad, but I think necessary for my mental, emotional, & spiritual wellbeing. Big Guy & I are just not on the same page & the friendship is becoming toxic. So, I made a grownup decision--sever the ties. After 42 yrs I am free of the fantasy of a life with him. My how I have grown.
Blessed be...

Monday, December 22, 2008

Cards to our Troops

Something cool that Xerox is doing

If you go to this web site, you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq .

You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to a member of the armed services. How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!! This is a great site. Please send a card. It is FREE and it only takes a second.

Blessed be...

Friday, December 19, 2008


Wolf Energy

In Native American traditions, Wolf is said to be "teacher" medicine. Humans have followed Wolf for millennia, studying Wolf's ways of the hunt, learning from their social structure. Wolf is allied with Sirus, the Dog Star, and it is said in many cultures, that our ancestors and teachers came from there. This is agreed upon by Australian Aborigines, and the Dogon tribe of Africa, as well as certain Native American tribes.

Wolf has much to teach us, if only we will listen. Wolf is allied to the moon and lunar energies, teaching us to respect our emotions and unconscious urges. Respect for the wildness of our animal natures, and willingness to face the dark within ourselves is an imperative for Wolf people. Trust in the unspoiled nature of your Child/Wolf self. Because the Moon rules psychic perception, Wolf people should work on learning to trust their intuition and psychic urges, to listen for the still small voice within.

The communal nature of Wolf's culture and hunting helps us to learn to cooperate to achieve a goal. Wolf people make good "team players" and are fiercely loyal to those they consider part of their pack. They often have strong leadership qualities, however they must often learn to balance their tendency for "social dominancing." As a predator, Wolf culls the sick and weak of the herd. Wolves are often quick to scent when a situation is "sick," and will work to change it. It is important that they learn to lead the situation gently, and without tearing others apart, or the pack may turn on them.

Wolf's capacity for communication suggests that Wolf people should learn to utilize the strength of their voice and to be aware of their body language. When dealing with Wolf people, listening for the nuances of vocal tone and watching their motions will help in gaining an understanding of them. Wolves often make excellent bards and storytellers.

Ritual is very important to Wolf. Both the little rituals of day-to-day conduct, and the bigger rituals of lunar howling. Whatever their spiritual beliefs, Wolf people will feel more in tune when they honor and re-link (the actual meaning of the word "religion") with the life force.


Wolves are the epitome of stamina, known to run 35 miles a day in pursuit of prey. They are highly misunderstood animals, who have gained the reputation of being cold blooded. In reality wolves are friendly and social creatures. Aggression is something they avoid, preferring rather to growl or create a posture to show dominance.

Even though living in close knit packs provide wolves with a strong sense of family, they are still able to maintain their individuality. Wolves represent the spirit of freedom, but they realize that having individual freedom requires having responsibilities.

Because wolf is a teacher and pathfinder, he comes when we need guidance in our lives. Those who have a Wolf Totem will move on to teach others about sacredness and spirituality. Wolf can also teach how to balance the responsibility of family needs and not to lose one's personal identity.

Wolf teaches us to develop strength and confidence in our decisions. He shows we will learn to trust our insights once we learn how to value our inner voice. This wisdom keeps us from inappropriate action. If wolf appears in your life examine where you need to develop more confidence and if you need more balance between friends, family, and yourself.


As I have mentioned previously, my totem is the Wolf. Wolf has come to me often over the years starting when I was somewhere around 8-9-10yrs old. No older than 10 because the last documented wolf in OK was killed in 1962. My grandparents had a dairy farm where I spent much of my younger years. It was not uncommon to see the bodies of coyotes & wolfs hanging on fence posts on the road to their farm. Hung there by the bounty hunters. It was a horrendous sight that I grew up seeing. I never became immune to the awful sight, the horror of it all. One day I got dropped off at the farm & was quickly admonished by my Nanny to stay away from the culvert (under the drive into the home place) because the hunters had corned a wolf under there & were coming back for it. Now when you tell me, or most any kid for that matter, not to do something because there is something really interesting there....well suffice to say I did not stay away. The ends of the culvert had been "fenced off" with wire mesh so I just laid on the ground in front of one end & stared in. There was the wolf, gleaming eyes, never growled, just moved a little forward & laid flat out on its belly. We just looked at each other for a very long time. It was a silent communication just between our two souls. That is the day that the Wolf Spirit entered/joined with my Spirit. I vaguely remember the wolfers coming & taking that beautiful animal. I know I was there when it happened because I remember it being caged & looking so resigned to its fate. I know that wolf did not die that day for he lives in me where his Spirit, joined all those years ago with mine, is safe & alive. He has guided me over the years--even the times when I forgot to listen. He comes to me in dreams, in visions, in fleeting sightings. I have seen him standing in my driveway as if watching over me & mine. I see him glide through my house, just checking in, just passing by. A pack comes to my dreams when I have big decisions to make or a situation is particularly stressful for me. They guide me home, figuratively & sometimes quite literally.

I carry my totem with me always--in my heart, my soul, a tatto on my thigh. I wear wolf jewelry quite often. I always have a statue, a picture or a painting in my house. Often one in every room. I visit wolf sanctuaries & sit & commune with the souls there. One of my favorites is Wolf Haven International in Tenino, WA ( where I have camped & howled with the wolves into the night--it was such an awesome experience. I have been going there since it opened (1982) & have seen the graves of wolves I communed with in the early years. If you live in WA or OR it is worth the drive to Tenino-they do awesome, informative, educational tours, & the wolves are fantastic. When you see the ravens, remember there were no ravens there until the wolves came, they are symbiotic. I have held wolf cubs in my arms, felt their hearts beating next to mine, smelled their scent & carry it with me always, stroked their fur & feel it under my fingers everyday.

I have given wolf totems to each of my tribe members to wear or carry with them. I have assembled my pack over the years & continue to do so. Not everyone I meet becomes a tribe/pack member. Some it takes awhile, for some it is an immediate acceptance, some never become a member & move on. No matter the distance between us we are joined. We honor the same full moon, we hear each other's howls & recognize the need that is spoken. We laugh & play, grieve & cry, hunt & celebrate when we gather together once more. We are solitary, we are a pack/a tribe---we are Family!!!

Blessed be...

Monday, December 15, 2008

This is cool

Thanks to Pampered Wife for this link. Just go there, put in the day & month of your birth & you get your birth Bible verse.

Genesis 1:26 NIV

"Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

I think this one is kinda "funny" for me. I know God made me in his image but I sure don't want to rule over anyone or anything. "Specially my furbabies. LOL! But I do have a love of & an affinity for Nature & all the beings that inhabit this planet. I LOVE animals. Maybe that's what it means. Honor & take care of the winged, feathered, & the four-legged. Hum, I will have to meditate on this.

Blessed be...

Friday, December 12, 2008


Following The Sun

by Enigma

Following The Sun .....

Following the sun, to find the one

Who's given you the wings to fly

Following the sun, the golden one

Losing sense for space and time
I'm following the sun

To find the one who

Can feel the waves of life

Can you hear the sigh of love

Do you believe in it?
Following the sun, just for the one

Till you find the door you thought

Following the sun, like everyone

Just searching for a sign of hope
I'm following the sun

To find the one and look up in the sky, see the billion stars above.

Cause maybe on one of them you'll spendyour further life.
Following the sun...


How often in my life have I followed the sun, chasing the sun, always chasing, always searching. Then one day I stopped & realized so profoundly that what I was chasing I had always possessed, always held inside of my heart, deep within my soul. The SON!!! With that the SUN began to shine so brightly, even on the darkest days. The ephiphany was so great. It was truly the audible voice of Great Spirit. And, I stopped & I listened.

That day began my journey toward healing. My journey to my true/authentic self. That was the day I stopped the destructive lifestyle that I had been living for so long. Stopped & faced my demons. Got honest with myself. Hit my knees & prayed. My life did a 180. Now, looking back, it is so hard to recognize that girl who defined me for so many years. Oh, I have kept alot of her, but most of her is gone replaced by a kinder, gentler, more enlightened version. It used to be so very hard to live in my skin, to be alone with myself. Now I embrace, & so totally enjoy, my time alone. Time to reflect, meditate, hang out just with me. I have become my own friend. WOW!!

Just the other day I was talking to Sparky about my past (which I don't do too often unless something comes up to which it is relavent) & I said" My friends from back in the day would not recognize me now. Oh, they would physically recognize me (my face has not changed since birth LOL-everyone recognized me even years later) but they would not know me any longer." Most would be shocked, many are probably dead by now (that's the path I was headed), some may be in jail (yep, I have had a colorful life filled with colorful people), but they would not know or want to know the woman I am today. I have grown, I have matured, I have mellowed, I have changed. All for the better.

When people talk to me about being afraid to die, I tell them I am not. There are several reasons for this: (1) I know where I am headed, (2) I believe that my life continues on the Other Side, (3) I have been to hell & spit in the devil's eye. He had me once, he fought hard to keep me, & he fights still to get me back. But my demons stop by less often. They have moved on to easier prey. Now I know how to fight them, I know how to banish them, & when I am weak I have the best warrior of all to send His angels to surround me & fight for me. They always win!! While others have often given up on me, Great Spirit never did & for this I am & will be eternally grateful. It is a blessing to know that unconditional love. Someday I will be able to thank Him face to face.

Now, when I chase the sun I am simply looking for a warm beach, with blue waters & a comfy chair in which to sit & read while I listen to the water lapping the shore.

Blessed be...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


You can access it from "My Blog List" sidebar.

Blessed be...


"There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day."
Alexander Woollcott


In thinking about this I thought how many times I had lived a day that I thought just wasn't too important in the whole scheme of things. Just an average day. Maybe I went to work or the store. Maybe I strolled the mall. Just an unimportant day. Then I thought deeper. I began to realize that every day no matter where I am or what I am doing, I touch someone else's life. Whether it is a client at work either on the phone or in person, a clerk, the maintenance man, the counter person at the deli, just someone I pass on my stroll. In some way by either my look, words, manner, demeanor, smile, or lack of one I touch that person's life & have the ability to perhaps make it a better day for them. We never know what another person is going through on any given day at any given time, but we are all at one time or another experiencing trauma, grief, disappointment, hardship, heartache, or just an all around crappy day. Just a smile or a kind hello can make all the difference. A pat on the shoulder, a friendly glance. It can all change the day for someone who is going through something of which we are not aware. No longer will I think the day is unimportant. Any day, in any way we can be of service to others. Sometimes we never even know it.

Blessed be...

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Who Are You???

I am_______________

A Baby Boomer, Mom, daughter, grandmother, friend, ex-hippie, former Wild Child (I proudly express this on my front license plate), a survivor, a confident woman, loyal, proud, humorous, friendly, sometimes frustrating especially to my boyfriend, sometime enchanting.

I live_______________

In Southcentral OK just off I-35 in a small house with a nice yard

I work______________

For an insurance agent. New field for me, but ever the assistant, ever efficient and hardworking

My favorite___________

Food: Mexican or Thai
Place: Key West, the Oregon/Washington coast, mountains of Montana

My inspiration___________

My brother


60's Rock, Southern Rock, Classic Country, Old-time Gospel, Folk--no Opera, no Hip Hop, no Rap, but I listen to most anything else


Novels, biographies, true crime. Anything of a spiritual nature, I read the Bible, all Eastern religions, I have read the Koran, The Book of Morman, anything on Native American Spirituality.


One son, one daughter-in-law, one grandson, two granddaughters, Mother, Step-Father (who adores me BTW). Most importantly--My Tribe!! those who are my family of choice even though we share no blood.

My darlin' "boys"--the FURKIDS: Lobo "Little Lobo/Lobee", Scrappy "ScrapMan/Scrapster/Scrapmeister", & Zane "Zaner/ZaneyDog/LittleMan". They are a joy in my life-the unconditional love makes me want to be the person they think I am. Lobo is a miniature schnauzer as is Scrappy. Lobo is an AKC Miniature Schnauzer that my Mom bought for me 4 yrs ago. He was bred by a friend of mine who is a policeofficer who was on the force with my bro. He is such a duffous. Very funny, the perpetual puppy. I think he has the Peter Pan complex. Scrappy was on death row in OKC, rescued by Pet Angels, & found by me on He is so laid back & affectionate-the moment I met him I knew he was my forever pupster. Scrappy saved me & Lobo from a pitbull attack. That little dog just put himself between us & went after that big dog. It was amazing his fierceness to protect me. Luckily, he got away with only one minor puncture wound on his head. Zane is also a rescue from Fido Knows found on He is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi/Miniature Schnauzer mix. He is tri-colored with little short legs, but he thinks he is a Rottweiler. Too cute!! I just fell in love with his pic & knew he was my forever pupster. He rounded out our little family.


Animal rights, Women's rights, Environmental rights, Human rights, Endangered species, Adoption of shelter animals, down with puppy mills

I blog__________________

because it is a great way to stay in touch with my Tribe, I meet wonderfully interesting new people all over the place. It is a creative outlet, it is my online journal (I print it off each year & save it with my handwritten journal).


To win the lottery & use my funds for good causes, live in the mountains, live at the beach, travel cross country again, open an animal rescue sanctuary, work with battered women, have a holistic center for retreats.


Yes, 4 to be exact. A howling wolf (my totem animal, more about that in a future post), a yellow rose (I got this one after I had been clean & sober for 3 mos- I now have almost 14 yrs), the Stars & Bars (to signify my Southern Heritage-it is NOT a racial statement but simply a pride in my ancestery), a cherub & if you look close enough you will see very small horns in the head(signifies that I know my angels are always looking over me, sitting on my shoulder, but that my evil twin could surface at any moment-just when I think I have killed her she can resurface, but the incidents are getting fewer & further between).


Well, that's me. Who are you???? (song by The Who)

Blessed be...

Wednesday, December 3, 2008


Thanks to my good friend, Amy for sharing this with me this morning.

This is really deep. Enjoy and keep it going.

If you ever look at yourself and feel that you don't measure up, read this and your outlook will change before you finish reading it!

This is good to keep, not just to read from time to time, but to also keep stored in your heart! Enjoy and remember who you are....

A Letter from God to Women

When I created the heavens and the earth, I spoke them into being. When I created man, I formed him and breathed life into his nostrils. But you, woman,

I fashioned after I breathed the breath of life into man because your nostrils are too delicate. I allowed a deep sleep to come over him so I could patiently and perfectly fashion you. Man was put to sleep so that he could not
interfere with the creativity. From one bone, I fashioned you. I chose the bone that protects man's life. I chose the rib, which protects his heart and lungs and supports him, as you are meant to do.

Around this one bone, I shaped you.... I modeled you. I created you perfectly and beautifully. Your characteristics are as the rib, strong yet delicate and fragile. You provide protection for the most delicate organ in man, his
heart. His heart is the center of his being; his lungs hold the breath of life. The rib cage will allow itself to be broken before it will allow damage to the heart. Support man as the rib cage supports the body.

You were not taken from his feet, to be under him, nor were you taken from his head, to be above him.

You were taken from his side, to stand beside him and be held close to his side.

You are my perfect angel.....You are my beautiful little girl. You have grown to be a splendid woman of excellence and my eyes fill when I see the virtues
in your heart.

Your eyes......don' t change them.

Your lips - how lovely when they part in prayer.

Your nose, so perfect in form.

Your hands so gentle to touch.

I've caressed your face in your deepest sleep.

I've held your heart close to mine.

Of all that lives and breathes, you are most like me.

Adam walked with me in the cool of the day, yet he was lonely. He could not see me or touch me. He could only feel me. So everything I wanted Adam to share
and experience with me, I fashioned in you; my holiness, my strength, my purity, my love, my protection and support.

You are special because you are an extension of me. Man represents my image, woman my emotions. Together, you represent the totality of God.

So man......treat women well. Love her, respect her, for she is fragile but yet strong at the same time.

Author Unknown
Blessed be...