Friday, December 12, 2008


Following The Sun

by Enigma

Following The Sun .....

Following the sun, to find the one

Who's given you the wings to fly

Following the sun, the golden one

Losing sense for space and time
I'm following the sun

To find the one who

Can feel the waves of life

Can you hear the sigh of love

Do you believe in it?
Following the sun, just for the one

Till you find the door you thought

Following the sun, like everyone

Just searching for a sign of hope
I'm following the sun

To find the one and look up in the sky, see the billion stars above.

Cause maybe on one of them you'll spendyour further life.
Following the sun...


How often in my life have I followed the sun, chasing the sun, always chasing, always searching. Then one day I stopped & realized so profoundly that what I was chasing I had always possessed, always held inside of my heart, deep within my soul. The SON!!! With that the SUN began to shine so brightly, even on the darkest days. The ephiphany was so great. It was truly the audible voice of Great Spirit. And, I stopped & I listened.

That day began my journey toward healing. My journey to my true/authentic self. That was the day I stopped the destructive lifestyle that I had been living for so long. Stopped & faced my demons. Got honest with myself. Hit my knees & prayed. My life did a 180. Now, looking back, it is so hard to recognize that girl who defined me for so many years. Oh, I have kept alot of her, but most of her is gone replaced by a kinder, gentler, more enlightened version. It used to be so very hard to live in my skin, to be alone with myself. Now I embrace, & so totally enjoy, my time alone. Time to reflect, meditate, hang out just with me. I have become my own friend. WOW!!

Just the other day I was talking to Sparky about my past (which I don't do too often unless something comes up to which it is relavent) & I said" My friends from back in the day would not recognize me now. Oh, they would physically recognize me (my face has not changed since birth LOL-everyone recognized me even years later) but they would not know me any longer." Most would be shocked, many are probably dead by now (that's the path I was headed), some may be in jail (yep, I have had a colorful life filled with colorful people), but they would not know or want to know the woman I am today. I have grown, I have matured, I have mellowed, I have changed. All for the better.

When people talk to me about being afraid to die, I tell them I am not. There are several reasons for this: (1) I know where I am headed, (2) I believe that my life continues on the Other Side, (3) I have been to hell & spit in the devil's eye. He had me once, he fought hard to keep me, & he fights still to get me back. But my demons stop by less often. They have moved on to easier prey. Now I know how to fight them, I know how to banish them, & when I am weak I have the best warrior of all to send His angels to surround me & fight for me. They always win!! While others have often given up on me, Great Spirit never did & for this I am & will be eternally grateful. It is a blessing to know that unconditional love. Someday I will be able to thank Him face to face.

Now, when I chase the sun I am simply looking for a warm beach, with blue waters & a comfy chair in which to sit & read while I listen to the water lapping the shore.

Blessed be...

1 comment:

jenx67 said...

This so beautiful. I really enjoy reading about the journey out of hell. So many of us have found ourselves there in one form or another. For me, hell was just sorrow from a profound and devastating loss 10 years ago (next month). I made it out, though, and have been fully restored and even that relationship has been reconciled and restored to peace and friendship.

I enjoy the blog, Melindaville, which I link to on the Generation X blog roll on my blog. She wrote a post recently - from heroin to Harvard - or something like that. Her journey is tremendous. She is a person of faith, although she does not subcribe to one religion - as best I can tell. I do believe her journey is quite spiritual and our presence in one another's lives a divine appointment of sorts - what you spoke about in a comment you left on my blog. Coincidence is God working anonymously, right?