Friday, February 27, 2009

The Journey is easier yet again...

When I left the University where I had worked for several years I was told by the Personnel Director that I was not yet vested in the Teacher Retirement System & that the money I had there would not continue to earn interest. Today I called Teacher Retirement to find out how much is in my account & how I should go about taking the money out to re-invest. I was surprised by the amount.

Then.... Surprise, Surprise!! I am FULLY vested & the money is earning 4%. I have OK Teacher Retirement.

So, once more the Journey has become easier. Thanks to Great Spirit!!!

I am anxiously anticipating the next bit of clarity.

Blessed be...

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Spring Time

It's not Spring yet, but I am seeing signs that a new Season will soon arrive in OK. Trees are beginning to bud & some to flower, daffodills are blooming in many yards, grass is starting to look more green. I like Spring. It offers the promise of new life, rebirth. That which has been dormant will once more spring to life. Much like ourselves when we have been in some sort of holding pattern-mentally, emotionally, professionally, or personally.

I think I have been waiting to exhale, so to speak, for quite some time. My brother had cancer, he got sicker, he was terminal, I took care of him, he died, & I had no idea how to live my life. For a solid year I just existed. Then I started living again very, very slowly. After 4 yrs & 4 months I am still figuring it out.

Then I was engaged to my first love. We got back in touch after so many years. I traveled to Seattle or he traveled to OK every three months. We were planning to start our life together after my brother died. Then when it came down to setting a final date, he balked. Didn't want to move to OK. I just couldn't move to Seattle at that time. He lives off a trust fund (that is running out BTW) & I was worried about the job market. So after much soul searching, I broke off the engagement. When that happened Sparky came back into my life (we have been back together now for 3 yrs-we were together for almost 3 yrs the first time & then apart for 3 yrs). At the end of the year I broke off all communications with the guy in Seattle because the conversations were leaving me in such a negative place-a place I just did not want to be.

I was out of work for 6 weeks this past summer (the company closed due to the recession). I have a good paying job now, but it does not challenge me. In fact I am quite bored. So I continue to look for another job. I know the right one will come along if I am just patient.

I am finally coming back into my own life. I like hanging out with Sparky but I do not want to be married to him. He is a great friend & takes very good care of me. We enjoy spending time together, we grew up together, our parents hung out together when we were kids, we know the same people, we have alot of the same memories of childhood, we went to the same school & knew/know the same people. He discusses his business decisions (he is an electrical contractor) with me. My furbabies love him. OMG!! I just had such an epiphany writing this--Sparky fills the void left by my brother in that we share a history from childhood. I have no other connection to my childhood as my brother was my only sibling. Sparky is an only child so I guess we fill the same void for each other. OMG what an Ah Hah moment.

NOTE: Sulustu, this really ties in with the message you gave me. The Journey in this relationship will become much easier now. I feel very peaceful, suddenly, in this part of my life. I know that the other situations will begin to reveal themselves now, too. The clarity will come in its appropriate time. Thanks!!

I suddenly feel very ready for Spring, for a rebirth & reawakening. I am ready to reconnect completely with myself, my Guides, my Totem, my Purpose. This Season should be enlightening & interesting. I feel ready to emerge from the cocoon in which I have wrapped myself. I am ready to live fully, experiencing Life completely.

"dance as though no one is watching,
love as though you have never been hurt,
sing as though no one is listening,

Blessed be...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


"There is more hunger for love and
appreciation in this world than for bread."
- Mother Teresa

I have found this to be so true in my own life. While I have never been belly swelling hungry, I have hungered for love & appreciation. Mostly from my birth family. I always think of the line from On Golden Pond where Jane Fonda's character says "I didn't think we were mad at each other, I just didn't think we liked each other very much". That is exactly the way I felt about my Dad. Didn't have a relationship even though my parents were married 35 yrs until my Daddy died. He was just a person who lived in the house & I spent most of my time being invisable so my parents wouldn't notice me. I was a very good student, never got in trouble, followed the rules, teachers loved me, & I never rocked the boat at home. The one or two times that I did were disasterous. So, two weeks after I graduated from high school I started college. I only came home when there was no other option & I married the first guy who asked. Then I began the search for his love & appreciation. Whatever he gave me was never enough because my own personal well was so dry. It took many years, a disasterous 2nd marriage, & much therapy to find out how to love myself. I have learned to nurture the little girl who had such hunger. She is peaceful now & so am I.

Blessed be...

Monday, February 16, 2009


I Believe..
A Birth Certificate shows that we were born
A Death Certificate shows that we died
Pictures show that we lived!
Have a seat . . . Relax . . .
And read this slowly.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
It doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, It doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends if We understand that friends change.

I Believe....
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you MUST forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.

I Believe.....
That you can do something in an instant That will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones with Loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe....
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe....
That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe....
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you When you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry,
I have the right to be angry, But that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe....
That maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had And what you've learned from them
and less to do with
how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe....
That it isn't always enough,
to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe....
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are, But, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager to find Out a secret. It could change your life Forever.

I Believe....
Two people can look at the exact same Thing and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed in a matter of Hours by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when A friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

'The happiest of people don't necessarily
have the best of everything; They just make the most of everything.

Thank you God for all the wonderful people who have helped
me throughout my journey of life.
Thanks to my dear friend, Amy for sending me this today. It resonated in my Spirit!!
Blessed be...

Friday, February 13, 2009

Friday the 13th

13 Facts About Friday the 13th


If you fear Friday the 13th, then batten down the hatches. This week's unlucky day is the first of three this year.

The next Friday the 13th comes in March, followed by Nov. 13. Such a triple whammy comes around only every 11 years, said Thomas Fernsler, a math specialist at the University of Delaware who has studied the number 13 for more than 20 years.

By the numbers
Here are 13 more facts about the infamous day, courtesy of Fernsler and some of our own research:

1. The British Navy built a ship named Friday the 13th. On its maiden voyage, the vessel left dock on a Friday the 13th, and was never heard from again.

2. The ill-fated Apollo 13 launched at 13:13 CST on Apr. 11, 1970. The sum of the date's digits (4-11-70) is 13 (as in 4+1+1+7+0 = 13). And the explosion that crippled the spacecraft occurred on April 13 (not a Friday). The crew did make it back to Earth safely, however.

3. Many hospitals have no room 13, while some tall buildings skip the 13th floor.

4. Fear of Friday the 13th - one of the most popular myths in science - is called paraskavedekatriaphobia as well as friggatriskaidekaphobia. Triskaidekaphobia is fear of the number 13.

5. Quarterback Dan Marino wore No. 13 throughout his career with the Miami Dolphins. Despite being a superb quarterback (some call him one of the best ever), he got to the Super Bowl just once, in 1985, and was trounced 38-16 by the San Francisco 49ers and Joe Montana (who wore No. 16 and won all four Super Bowls he played in).

6. Butch Cassidy, notorious American train and bank robber, was born on Friday, April 13, 1866.

7. Fidel Castro was born on Friday, Aug. 13, 1926.

8. President Franklin D. Roosevelt would not travel on the 13th day of any month and would never host 13 guests at a meal. Napoleon and Herbert Hoover were also triskaidekaphobic, with an abnormal fear of the number 13.

9. Superstitious diners in Paris can hire a quatorzieme, or professional 14th guest.

10. Mark Twain once was the 13th guest at a dinner party. A friend warned him not to go. "It was bad luck," Twain later told the friend. "They only had food for 12."

11. Woodrow Wilson considered 13 his lucky number, though his experience didn't support such faith. He arrived in Normandy, France on Friday, Dec. 13, 1918, for peace talks, only to return with a treaty he couldn't get Congress to sign. (The ship's crew wanted to dock the next day due to superstitions, Fernsler said.) He toured the United States to rally support for the treaty, and while traveling, suffered a near-fatal stroke.

12. The number 13 suffers from its position after 12, according to numerologists who consider the latter to be a complete number - 12 months in a year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus, 12 labors of Hercules, 12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles of Jesus, 12 days of Christmas and 12 eggs in a dozen.

13. The seals on the back of a dollar bill include 13 steps on the pyramid, 13 stars above the eagle's head, 13 war arrows in the eagle's claw and 13 leaves on the olive branch. So far there's been no evidence tying these long-ago design decisions to the present economic situation.

Origins of Friday the 13th

Where's all this superstition come from? Nobody knows for sure. But it may date back to Biblical times (the 13th guest at the Last Supper betrayed Jesus). By the Middle Ages, both Friday and 13 were considered bearers of bad fortune.
Meanwhile the belief that numbers are connected to life and physical things - called numerology - has a long history.
"You can trace it all the way from the followers of Pythagoras, whose maxim to describe the universe was 'all is number,'" says Mario Livio, an astrophysicist and author of "The Equation That Couldn't Be Solved" (Simon & Schuster, 2005). Thinkers who studied under the famous Greek mathematician combined numbers in different ways to explain everything around them, Livio said.
In modern times, numerology has become a type of para-science, much like the meaningless predictions of astrology, scientists say.
"People are subconsciously drawn towards specific numbers because they know that they need the experiences, attributes or lessons, associated with them, that are contained within their potential," says professional numerologist Sonia Ducie. "Numerology can 'make sense' of an individual's life (health, career, relationships, situations and issues) by recognizing which number cycle they are in, and by giving them clarity."

Am I superstitious, YES!! Am I worried about Friday the 13th, NO. I do, however, have certain superstitions that I abide by without fail:

  • Never, never take the broom with you when you move to a new abode (I am VERY adamant about this one).
  • Never walk under a ladder-this is also a safety issue, I think, & just plain common sense
  • Never open an umbrella in the house
  • Always throw salt over my right shoulder if it is spilled
  • Always say "Bless you" when someone sneezes
  • Never send ivy to a new Mother at the hospital. If ivy is sent to the hospital, never take it home

I also carry a small medicine bag (cannot disclose the contents--bad luck) that holds my "charms".

Yes, I am a paradox. I know this--a modern day woman with superstitions & who practices many "old" ways. I light candles & incense, I set up alters, I believe in Spirits, Guides from the Other Side, Demons (I have seen them), Ghosts (I've seen these, too), & I have the Gift of Second Sight (ESP) sometimes I just "know" things, & I honor those feelings. I only get into trouble when I do not listen to my intuition. Just this week I was offered a job that sounded very good & seemed to be perfect for me for many reasons, but something felt hinky so I turned it down.

I hope your Friday the 13th is a blessed, happy, fulfilling, & joyful day filled with sunshine & laughter.

Blessed be...

Wednesday, February 11, 2009


As most everyone knows, Lone Grove OK was devastated by a tornado last night. 8 confirmed dead, 30-40 still unaccounted for right now with another 50 or so going to the hospital with injuries. We had warning, the sirens blew but my part of OK has received the first storm of the season. I do not live in Lone Grove, but I am as we say in OK within spitting distance. Got a lot of high wind & rain at my house after the tornado passed. I could see the wall cloud from my porch when the lightening lit up the sky. I was on the phone with Sparky when the sirens went off so I got leashes on the furkids & hit my safe spot. Lost the phone (land line) for just a few minutes never lost electricity or cell phone & the biggest shock my Dish never went out so I had weather coverage til I went to bed. I called my son in Missouri to tell him I was safe & he had seen the coverage there. The Today Show had coverage, the Weather Channel is in town. Edmond also had a tornado yesterday afternoon, but no deaths--Thank God!!!

So, just wanted my Tribe to know that while it was close I am safe. Please pray for all those who are not, for those who lost their homes, for those who lost their loved ones. If you can help in other ways please contact the Red Cross.

Blessed be...

Monday, February 9, 2009

Wish I was here...

Wish I was lying in this hammock sipping a cool one.

Wish I was in Key West--checked prices. Couldn't afford it if it was Free LOL!!

Wish I could make a living as a beach bum.

Wish I was in the sun, meditating, figuring out how to make a living without working so blasted hard.

Wish I was on the beach!!! I am missing the beach, the sun, the laidback existence.

All is good, I just miss the BEACH!!!

Blessed be....

Wednesday, February 4, 2009


Okay, so this is how I imagine this conversation went:
Walmart Employee: 'Hello ya'll got Walmarts, how can I help you?'
Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'
Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'
Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.
You just can't fix stupid!!!
Thanks to my friend Amy for today's laugh!!
Blessed be...

Monday, February 2, 2009

One Tin Soldier

One Tin Soldier

(The Legend of Billy Jack)
by Lambert-Potter, sung by Coven

Listen, children, to a story

That was written long ago,

'Bout a kingdom on a mountain

And the valley-folk below.

On the mountain was a treasure

Buried deep beneath the stone,

And the valley-people swore

They'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,

Go ahead and cheat a friend.

Do it in the name of Heaven,

You can justify it in the end.

There won't be any trumpets blowing

Come the judgement day,

On the bloody morning after....One tin soldier rides away.

So the people of the valley

Sent a message up the hill,

Asking for the buried treasure,

Tons of gold for which they'd kill.

Came an answer from the kingdom,

"With our brothers we will share

All the secrets of our mountain,

All the riches buried there.

"Go ahead and hate your neighbor,

Go ahead and cheat a friend.

Do it in the name of Heaven,

You can justify it in the end.

There won't be any trumpets blowing

Come the judgement day,

On the bloody morning after....One tin soldier rides away.

Now the valley cried with anger,

"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"

And they killed the mountain-people,

So they won their just reward.

Now they stood beside the treasure,

On the mountain, dark and red.

Turned the stone and looked beneath it...

"Peace on Earth" was all it said.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,

Go ahead and cheat a friend.

Do it in the name of Heaven,

You can justify it in the end.

There won't be any trumpets blowing

Come the judgement day,

On the bloody morning after....One tin soldier rides away.
I heard this song over the weekend &, as it did "back in the day", I was moved to wondering "Why??"
Blessed be...
Guess I should clarify the "Why?" Why can't we just get along? Why can't everyone be accepting of each other? Why can't we share? Share our treasures, share our resources, share everything. Why did the Europeans have to conquer rather than learning to co-exist with the Tribes? Fear, it is always out of fear. Fear of that which is not understood, that which is different.
So much has been done in the name of "right" , the name of religion. As my brother told a minister who visited him when he was dying, after asking if Dave knew Jesus (he sure as hell DID!!) & saying Dave needed to be in church on Sunday, "Why would I want to seat on a pew next to someone who claims to be so righteous on Sunday then f...s his neighbor's wife & cheats his customers during the week??" So, as far as I am concerned there is no way to justify that behavior. No way at all. You have to live honorably. Sunday religion is no religion at all.
Anyway, I love this song. It speaks to my Spirit & to what I believe.
One tin soldier rides away...