I have always been a Seeker...

For as long as I can remember I have heard the beat of my own drummer.  Oh for years I tried to hear the drummer that everyone else seemed to hear.  I tried to conform, I tried to be what/who I was "supposed" to be, I tried to believe what everyone else seemed to believe.  To steal quote - "How's that workin for ya?"  Well, it didn't work too well at all.  Kinda got my life in a big mess quite honestly.   So, one day I just decided to seek what I knew was missing in my life.  Now, this was not some epiphany that just hit me like a lightening bolt one day.  No, it was a slow process.  Baby steps.  A slow, steady awakening.  With each beat of that drum in my Spirit an old belief, a part of me that was not really me fell away-replaced by a more authentic belief, a more authentic aspect of me.  Slowly, slowly, each day seeking Truth, Peace, Harmony, Joy, & Contentment.  It has taken decades to be the woman who sits here tonight typing away.  I am still a Seeker, I will always be a Seeker.  The layers of me peel away like the skin of an onion revealing wonderous things.  I have let go of the judgments what were instilled in me in childhood, I have learned tolerance.  I have learned that all those voices that shouted negativity at me throughout my childhood, my teenage years, my years as a young vulnerable woman were wrong.  I am worthy- I know my value.  I am lovable - I love me.  I see the beauty that is within me.  I may not be super model beautiful, I may not be beautiful by the standards of society in general but guess what...I find myself to be beautiful in many ways.  I have found self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem.  I am smart & I am funny.  I am a good friend.  I am a good person.  I am no longer angry, I have found peace.  I am no longer defined by my history, but my stories are a part of making me my authentic self.   I no longer look for happiness outside myself, it resides within my Spirit.  

Today I seek to become more Enlightened.  I seek to live in harmony with Nature.  I seek to go deeper within to find answers that reside within my very DNA - answers that I brought with me on this Journey.  Each day when I awake, I take a page from Dr. Wayne Dyer & say Thank You three times before I get out of bed.   I know that each day I can choose to feel badly or I can choose to be fabulous.  I choose fabulous!  Everyday I say "I am grateful, & I am blessed".  I walk outside on my patio & breath in the air of a new day.  And each night I walk out to the patio & stand in the dark thanking the Universe for the day.   To sit awhile in the stillness with no thoughts, just being in the Now refreshes me & sends me off to a good night's sleep.

I meditate at least once a day.  I try to meditate morning & night.  Sometimes, however, I find that meditating mid-day is refreshing & reminds me of my inner focus.  That focus, that balance, that grounding of my Spirit is what I now live to experience.  That way of seeing everything & everyone in a fresh light.  A light filled with compassion, love, understanding, & acceptance.

The energy I find in Reiki has also helped to ground me, to balance me, to keep me in sync with the Universe.   My psychic abilities are being honed sharply.  I can touch a person & sometimes get amazing messages for them or about them.  I have always been able to see the darkness in people, but now I know how to help disspell that darkness & most importantly I know how to NOT take the darkness into myself.

I am a Seeker.  I seek knowledge, understanding, Enlightenment.  I seek to know from whence I came.  I seek to understand my Gifts.  I no longer seek my Path for it is revealed to me on my Journey.  I no longer seek my Destiny for it too is revealed to me through my Journey.  The voices are quite loud most of the time now, but they no longer haunt & taunt me.  Now they are the voices of my guides, my angels, the Universe giving me that which I have sought for so many years.   Yes, I am a Seeker.  As I delve deeper into the Tao, the peace engulfs me.  I understand that which I have sensed for years.   I am a Seeker...I seek to live fully, in harmony, guided by the Universe, sharing my Gifts, following my Path, moving toward my Destiny with authenticity, love, compassion, tolerance, peace, & joy.  I am a Seeker.  I am blessed, & I am grateful!

~~blessed be...