Friday, April 3, 2009

Part 2 --- San Antonio 1980

The saga continues....


The divorce was final, she had a new job, Bubba Bear (her son who hates that name BTW LOL) was in Christian Pre-School. She was learning to pay bills, the house payment, & the other stuff. Life was not easy. Money was tight. She fed her son, but not herself. Her weight dropped to 90 lbs. She made new friends. Ex took Bubba Bear every Wed. night & every other weekend. She was so lonely without that little guy. Then the new friends starting asking her to go out dancing & such on those nights. So out she went. She found that drinking stopped the noise in her head & she no longer felt shy or out of place. She loved to dance. She started to date. She dated more in one month than she had in her whole life before marriage. Enter "Party Girl" aka San Antonio Cowgirl who looked alot like Debra Winger in Urban Cowboy. She did a mean two-step. She was living like an 18 yr old 'cause she had never been an 18 yr old. She ran fast with a fast crowd, but only when Bubba Bear was with his dad. No dates were allowed to pick her up at her house. She always met them & came home on her own. Then she met a man who was a decendent of Pancho Villa. He became her addiction. While he was not much of a drinker, he did love to toke. He was separated when they met & it was much later that she discovered he was actually married. They were inseparable. She had never met anyone like him before & fell head over heels in love. She was the candy on his arm-tall, very thin, modeling for a local store, long hair down her back, always in tight jeans, boots or dressed to the 9's in 4" heels. She towered over him but he did not care. They went everywhere. Took their kids on outings. They planned to marry. This went on for 2 yrs. Then The Abuction happened.

Ex (who had remarried 6 months after the divorce) had moved out of TX for his job & came to town one day. Stopped by the house. Asked to take Bubba Bear home with him for a week. She allowed it even though it was outside the parameters of visitation-she was a nice guy, knew Bubba Bear missed his daddy. As soon as the car turned the corner she KNEW...knew he was not going to bring Bubba Bear back. She just knew. The pain was overwhelming. Her attorney thought she was nuts. Her friends thought she was nuts. She was not nuts. She was right. Ex called the night before he was scheduled to bring Bubba Bear home, "No need to be at the airport" "I'm not bringing him back" "Two of your friends (the best ones or so she thought) went to court-helped me get custody" "Just forget it & don't try to get him back". She was devastated. Couldn't call her friends. Who could be trusted. One was still true. She spent the night with them after a quick phone call to her parents. They were there the next day packed up her stuff & took it to OK in a U-Haul because she had already sold the house. Her attorney found out that it had all been done very hush hush with lots of lies & no notification. All her records were missing from the courthouse. The judge got very PO'd at how he was played by Ex's attorney, about the missing records, & immediately issued a court order to bring Bubba Bear back to her. She flew to Houston, met her private investigator, flew to Louisiana. They found the daycare, they found Bubba Bear, Wolf (the investigator) promised she would leave LA with her son---she did!! They flew straight to OK, never returned to TX. 3 days later Ex called to ask her mom if she had Bubba Bear. Mom said"I thought you had him" (Good move Mom!!!). She did have to go back to TX one time to meet with the judge & Ex (she left Bubba Bear in OK). The judge had done a complete investigation, talked to everyone, & determined that she was a very good mother, Bubba Bear was safe, well cared for, & happy with his Mommy. She got full custody. Ex was admonished for his act & was told her life was no longer any of his business. When she got back to OK , Bubba Bear would not leave her for a moment, had to sleep with her for quite sometime, would have bad dreams, but he was home & would stay there.


No one had ever thought she was a strong person. But she had proved them all so very wrong. Ex thought she would just lay down, cry, & give up. How wrong he was. Bubba Bear was her life. She fought for her life because she knew she was right, she knew she had to prove he lied about her, she knew Bubba Bear was better off with her. She was strong & she was a fighter, she could get things done, she was self-reliant---The Abduction taught her this & it changed who she was forever. Gone was the naive little Okie girl who trusted everyone. Gone was the belief that these things happen to other people. No, girl, you are the other people. Life was no longer quite so safe, so "normal". She began looking over her shoulder alot. She began looking for someone to keep her safe.


All ties to TX were broken. She was moving on to the next phase, the next re-invention of herself & her life.

Enter Cowboy...


***********to be continued***********



Blessed be...

5 comments:

country girl said...

Amazing story. Glad it's yours and not mine. I can hardly wait for the cowboy part.

Barry Moses (Sulustu) said...

Heartbreaking.... tragic.... wonderful... so many emotions.... I'm just happy Bubba Bear is safe with mom.

jenX67 said...

we have so much to talk about. i've had that desperate feeling - the one you get when you think your child has been taken from you - maybe forever.

i'm glad you're writing all this. for me, there isn't enough distance between me and the past.

your peace inspires me.

Louisiana said...

i was stopping by to say hi and see i have an autobiography to read....can't wait...will come back as soon as i'm finished. thanks for the love always.
Have a Holy Thursday.

butterflies said...

It always helps to find a cowboy....

Happy easter my sweet friend:)