I know you're out there somewhere...

That Moody Blues song has been running through my head for weeks.  Sometimes the whole song, sometimes just that phrase.  I've been wondering exactly what it means.  Could just be the fact that I really like that song, could be something else.  I really think that it has alot to do with the fact that my life is going really good.  I love my new job so that part of my life is stablized.  I am in such a good place right now.  Peaceful, contented, happy - a really good place emotionally, spiritually, psychologically.  These aspects have never all come together at the same time before.  I am liking the feeling.  I am happy where I live, my house is perfect for me & the furry kids.  I am comfortable being me.   Life is just plain good.  I really don't ever want to marry again & I  love living without another human in the house.  I like being on my own making my own decisions.  The relationship I am in is completely plutonic & that is the way I want it.  I love the guy, but as a very good friend.  I am not "in love" with him nor is he in love with me.  We're buddies, we hang out, we share our lives.  We are a team, we watch out for each other, we have each other's back.

I have been deeply, completely in love & I have been loved that way in return. I am loved that way now by a wonderful man I have known for 44 yrs-unconditionally, accepted just as I am.  It's a good feeling, but it is not a marriage thing it is a lifetime friendship kinda thing.  But, I keep having this feeling -- You're out there somewhere.  If you are, you're gonna have to find me 'cause I'm not out there looking for you.  My life is complete & to go through what is involved in adding a new person to the mix is just not worth it to me unless it is going to be a spectacular, soulmate, forever kinda thing.  And you are going to have to pursue me, love the furbabies, accept my beliefs, & give me my space.  You are gonna have to fall in love with me & convince me fall in love with you.  You need to have a good job, money in the bank, & the ability to take care of me financially (in my last marriage I was that person so now it is someone else's turn). It's alot to ask of another person.  But, you just might be out there...somewhere.  And I just might find out that there is room in my life for you.

~~blessed be...