For Jen

Me & Jen

2009

I just love this girl!!  She is such a lovely young woman: kind, compassionate, loving, giving, radiant.  A gifted writer with much to say.  Jen writes from a very special place deep within.  She is the heartbeat & voice of GenX.  Be sure you visit her blog at http://www.jenx67.com/.  She epitomizes Christianity at its best.  She is a fabulous mother with beautiful, happy, well-adjusted, loving children.  Not to mention a wonderful wife with the husband Great Spirit intended for her.  She has blessed my life so much.  We connected through our blogs & when we met it was like sitting down with an old friend I had not seen for awhile.  Cannot wait to get together again.  This post is for her.

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In response to my last post --

jenX said...

if you had a 12-year-old daughter and only a week to live what would you tell her? i'm not dying or anything, but bombarded by the thought that my daughter will spring from home in six or seven fast years.

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Well, if I had a 12-yr old daughter & a week to live there would so many things that would go through my mind about preparing her for life beyond age 12, life faced without my influence.  I would think about all the milestones to come in her life that I would miss & the things that I would want to say at each of those milestones.  I think all of those pieces of wisdom, suggestions, hopes, instructions boil down to the following.

• Find your passion & live it.  If you are passionate about what you do, you will be successful.  Maybe not in society's estimation, but your life will be meaningful & fulfulling.
• Never, never allow yourself to be defined by a man.  Your identity is your own, no one can give that to you or take that away from you.
• Always have your own money.  Keep money that is yours separate.  It may be money you earned or inherited, but always have enough money of your own to be independent.  Should the unexpected happen you will be able to take care of yourself & your family, if you have one.
• Get an education.  It may not be a formal college degree, but be educated.  Whatever it is you choose to do as a living outside your home, learn all you can & stay current with the knowledge, even if you are not actively working in that field.  You might be a stay at home mom, but keep up with your chosen career.  You never know when you might have to rejoin the workforce.  Make sure your skills stay current.
• Always see the wonder in life.   Be in awe of the beauty of a sunrise, sunset, thunderstorm, the night sky, a bright sunny day.  Rejoice in the miracle of birth whether it be a child or an animal.  See the beauty in a smile.
• In the words of Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time".  Trust your instincts.  Listen to that small quiet voice deep within.  If something does not feel right, it isn't.  If you feel the need to run, RUN!!  Always, always trust yourself.
• Believe in Great Spirit or whatever you choose to call that which is greater than us.  There is something bigger than us, more knowing, benevolent, loving, & just waiting for you to ask for guidance. 
• Know that you are here for a purpose.  While it may take you a lifetime to find that purpose you will find it.  All the roads you take will continue to lead you to that purpose no matter your detours.  Keep looking, keep trusting, keep believing.
• Live by your sense of right & wrong.  Do not allow anyone to sway you away from your beliefs, your sense of morality.  Do not give pieces of yourself away to someone who is not worthy. 
• Be careful of your friends.  Choose people who share your belief system, your sense of morality.  While you may not believe it now, you will become known by the company you keep.  Be sure that the image you project is the image you want others to have of you.
• No matter what anyone says, it is important to "save yourself" for marriage.  There is no such thing as casual sex.  There is always an emotional connection for a girl & hurt, blame, & self recrimination can run very deep.  Just because you don't go "all the way" does not mean you didn't have sex.  Any form of sexual contact carries consequences that can have a very heavy price.  Pregnancy is not the only thing that can happen.  Sexually transmitted diseases can be with you for a lifetime and have a lifetime of consequences.  HIV is real & is still a death sentence even with the treatments available.  This kind of decision outside of a mature, committed relationship can alter the course of your life.
• For every action there is a consequence.  So always think about your life decisions before you make them.  Don't just decide to do something without throughly examining the pros & cons.  This goes for who to date/marry, where to live, buying a car, buying a house, having children, a job.  Remember this in all life-changing decisions.  Make a list -- pros/cons, weigh them out, make an informed decision.
• Always, always love yourself.  Know that you are perfect just as you are.  Be self-confident, self-reliant.  Believe in yourself as the unique individual you were created to be.
• In the midst of adversity always remember to stop & say Thank You.  It can be a prayer, a plea, a statement, an affirmation.  If the only prayer you say at night is Thank you, it is enough.
• Never be afraid to apologize.  Always say "I'm sorry" if you have hurt someone.  Few do, but it can make a world of difference to you & the other person toward growth.  It is hard, but it will heal hearts. 
• Life is a Journey, not a destination.   Live fully, be happy, travel, learn about other cultures, expand your knowledge of the world, be open to new ideas, do not be afraid to go skydiving or mountain climbing or anything else that you think might be fun.  It is the Adventure of the Journey that broadens us as individuals in order for us to fully realize who we are meant to be as a humanbeing.
• Remember...we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  That which is your spirit, your energy, is your true authentic self.  Always honor that authenticity.  Be honest, be honorable, live by your word, be a friend, be kind, be compassionate.  Give of yourself.  Even if it is just a smile to a stranger on the street.  That may be the only smile that person has seen in awhile. 

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Well, that is what I would tell a daughter whether I had an hour, a day, a week, or a lifetime to live.  I would want her to know how to survive in a harsh world, but not to be harsh.  I would want her to be loving & compassionate while being strong, brave, independent, & self-reliant.  I would want her to value herself so others would also value her.  I would want her to respect herself so others would respect her.   I would want her to love herself so she would recognize true love when it was given to her.  I would want her to demand excellence from herself so that she would recognize excellence in others.  I would want her to live without prejudice, fear, or anger at others.   I would want her to grow each day as a person, learning who she is.  I would want her to recognize that she need not practice perfectionism, but simply do her best each day.  Through mistakes we learn to be better people-at work, at school, in life.  It is not the mistakes that are important but the lessons we learn from them.

blessed be...