Friday, March 6, 2009

ROAD KILL IN MY REARVIEW MIRROR

I heard this phrase last night from Hoda on the Today Show, & I thought how thought provoking. I don't know about anyone else but I certainly have Road Kill in my personal rearview mirror. I got to thinking about my Journey & my trip so far - especially what I see in my rearview mirror. Life is certainly a highway with many twists & turns along the way, roadblocks, detours, good roads, bad roads, near misses, crashes, & unfortunately, road kill.



So last night I drove along my own Life's Highway looking in my rearview mirror every so often. Yep, definately ROAD KILL. Some of it is pieces of myself I have left behind, the evil "twin" that I have finally killed off just like road kill left by the side of the road. Then there are the years where I really wasn't very present, not in my life &, sadly, not in my son's. Oh I was there physically, but I just wasn't THERE (thank Great Spirit that we have put that behind us & moved forward as Mother & Son). A drinking & drugging lifestyle will do that to you. So, more road kill in my rearview mirror. Then there are the failed marriages, some fault mine some fault theirs-no failed relationship is ever all one person's fault no matter what is happening. My second marriage was very abusive, but I stayed...I stayed way too long. I almost died there- spiritually & physically. Then I would have been road kill in Cowboy's rearview mirror. Some of the road kill I saw were missed opportunities.



Yep, the road has been rough at times. Many times I hit what was in the road, but many times I swerved & missed it. I have dodged the bullet so many times-times when I should have died but didn't. I have always known that at those times it was not my time to die that Great Spirit had a plan for me, more work I needed to do, & that my Journey was not yet over.



I have come out the end of a very dark tunnel. The Light is all around me now. I am in touch & more enlightened every day. I am peaceful. I thought the other day that I wake up in the mornings & while I do not have this wild feeling of overwhelming joy (that is a bit manic when you experience it) & energy I do feel peace, contentment, & I am ready to face the day whatever it may bring. Depression is now road kill in my rearview mirror. The road ahead is bright, inviting, exciting, & full of promise of a lovely Journey to a place where I will live in harmony with myself, Great Spirit, & my surroundings. I am truly enjoying the Ride.



Blessed be...

4 comments:

Barry Moses (Sulustu) said...

Very thoughtful post; vulnerable and reflective.

Sometimes these are hard lumps to swallow, but they don't have to be BAD. Sometimes the most bitter medicine makes life the most sweet, if we consider the long term perspective. Sounds like you may be seeing this now.

May your life be filled with blessings and light.

butterflies said...

I loved that analagy..I have so much road kill in the mirror!
Im so glad that its behind me now.
I was actually followed around the supermarket by the first road kill the other day which un neverved me somewhat.
I know what a long journey youve had and its been great to share it with you sister!
Love yu:)

jen said...

The picture at the end sums it up so nicely - and light all around you.

I kept hearing that Mack Davis song about Lubbock in my rearview mirrow. I like this line:

Now I sleep a little better at night
When I look in the mirror
In the morning light
The man I see was both wrong and right
He's going home again...

Bless you!!! You are so dear and I just treasure your sentiments and the blessings you send me on my blog so much.

CurtissAnn said...

Thanks for that word-picture: Depression is now road kill in my rear-view mirror. I smile. Yes, for me, too. Or is it that I make peace with it? The struggle is road kill. :)

Thanks for your blog, great.