Monday, May 10, 2010

Talking to my angel

"Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship."--Buddha

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My brother played this song for me one afternoon as we were driving home from OKC. He told me he wanted it played at his funeral, & it was. The words speak to me on so many levels. And for some reason when I read the quote above I thought of this song. I think it's because I have health, I am content (as was my brother even when he knew he was terminal), & while neither of us were successful at marriage I know that both of us have/had successful relationships because we are faithful friends.

Yesterday, I got a call from my Big Guy in Seattle to wish me a Happy Mother's Day. It was a very nice surprise. He had spoken with his aunt & since his cousin was there they chatted also. As he was concluding our chat, he said "I love you. I told my cousin that we may disagree, argue, etc but I love you & I hope you know that." I told him that I do know that, it is the constant that has been in my life since I was 14. I have never doubted his love. We can't seem to make a life together come together but I have no doubt of his love for me. I love him also. It is the longest relationship of my life, the only truly successful relationship I have ever had with a guy--44 years this Fall. We probably would have destroyed each other if we had actually married that long ago--we were two damaged people who had to find our way to contentment & peace. Don't think we could have done it together because the Journey has lead us down very different paths. Sometimes the paths have converged but mostly not. I cherish him in my life. Someday who knows what may happen, but he is my rock, someone I can call in the middle of the night & he will wake up & be there for me. He would catch a plane on a moment's notice to be with me if I needed him. All I have to do is ask. I am blessed to have him in my life.

So, I sometimes lament my failed marriages. But I have good, strong relationships with people. Relationships with friends who truly know me, they "get" me, they accept the authentic me. And, I feel the same about them. So, in that context, I am successful. I am content in my life, with the mistakes I have made, with the Path I am now walking in my Journey. Therefore, I may lack material wealth, but I am wealthy beyond measure. I am blessed with good health despite my own attempts to abuse body & mind in my youth. Sleeping with a CPAP machine & taking thyroid meds every day are just inconsequencial when others suffer so much. I am a blessed woman & I know it. I thank Great Spirit everyday for all that has been given me.

"I've been talking to my angel, and he says that it's alright"

~~blessed be...

4 comments:

Territory Mom said...

This is beautiful. I thought of this song when I read this post.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRH98jDGQV4

♥Georgie♥ said...

I agree Beautiful Post!

Oklahoma Girl said...

@Territory Mom -- beautiful song, thanks for sharing it!! I love Rodney Crowell's music. It always speaks deep within my Spirit.

@Georgie--Thanks!!

~~blessed be...

Prairiemaid said...

Beautiful and insightful! You should write a book!

Thanks for telling me about the Gainesville mall. I may have to ride as far as Ardmore, have one of the grown kids meet us there and go to Lake Murray.

They no longer have the Film Festival at Gene Autrey. I was kind of bummed about that too. They are having a country, bluegrass music day celebrating the American Cowboy, I think toward the last of June. I'll have to check.

Anway, have an awesome week!