Thanksgiving Meme

Thanks to the Pampered Wife for this one
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A) Home or somewhere else?
Sparky's Mom's house (I affectionately call her my mother-in-law because she has always been so wonderful, loving, accepting, & kind to me)

B) Anything out of the ordinary this Thanksgiving?
No desserts since Sparkman & I are on diets

C) Will there be a football game on at your place?
We watched "Miracle on 34th St", but I did have to switch to check the score for the Cowboys--go Dallas!!!

D) Apple, pumpkin, or mince pie for you?
pumpkin pie

E) Everyone at one table or is there a ‘B” table?
There were only 3 of us so we all got to sit together LOL

F) Will someone say grace?
Usually MIL does but this year we did not say grace. I missed it

G) Who does the cooking?
MIL, but I do cleanup & putting away leftovers

H) What wish will you do on this virtual wishbone?
Love, happiness, prosperity, peace, & blessings for my tribe.


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Beautiful Sunday everyone!!




Blessed be...

Thanksgiving

Today...& every day I am thankful for:

• My tribe (the friends & family of my heart/soul)
• My health
• My faith
• My ability to survive
• My love of humanity
• My love of Nature
• Great Spirit's love for me
• The blessings that come upon me unaware
• The time I was given to say goodbye, I love you, & all else to my brother before he left this world for the next
• Having loved & been loved
• Loving myself
• Learning to accept myself just as I am at this very moment
• Learning to trust my instincts
• Learning to say "no" & not feeling guilty
• Learning to ask for what I need even when I don't get it
• Accepting others just as they are at this very moment
• A home that is safe, comfortable,warm & dry
• The ability to put food on my own table
• Generosity
• Beauty
• Graciousness
• Honesty
• Honor

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

Blessed be...

Meme

Thanks for The Pampered Wife Goes Thrifty for the meme. Feel free to play if you wish.

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1. Who is the most famous person you’ve talked to?
Rock Hudson--he was filming a movie in Vegas when I lived there & ate in the bar I was managing.

2. How many bags of potato chips (crisps) are consumed at your house per month?
I don't eat them since I am on my diet

3. What foreign dish do you prepare from scratch and serve?
Stirfried noodles &/or rice w/veggies--lots of middle eastern spices.

4. What is your favourite section of the supermarket?
I love the produce section

5. What was your high school’s team mascot and colors?
Bulldogs--red/white

6. What’s under your bed?
A vintage formica kitchen table

7. Over easy, or sunny side up?
Omelet--when I eat them

8. Favorite pie?
Blueberry cream

9. Storms - cool or scary?
Love storms--very cool especially in OK springtime

10. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently we
wearing?
Softspots

11. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
From my friend/almost sister-in-law Cheryl asking me to call. She used to be engaged to my bro & was really feeling down.

12. Where did you live in 1987?
Las Vegas, NV

13. Where were you when 9/11 happened?
Work in OK

14. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?
Spanish-I took it for two years, but would really like to be more proficient

15. Can you change the oil on a car?
Yes
16. Your first love: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
He lives in WA & teaches NRA classes, living off his inheritance.

17. Gummy bears or worms?
Neither

18. Your favorite food?
Mexican or Thai

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Blessed be...

Fill in the blanks

1. The last band I saw live was _________. The Who//OKC Ford Ctr

2. What I look forward to most on Thanksgiving is _________. (if you don't celebrate thanksgiving, insert your favorite holiday). Dressing (or stuffing as some call it, but in OK it is Dressing & my favorite part of the meal. I eat it with cranberry sauce).

3. My Christmas/holiday shopping is __________. Something I don't do. We gave up presents, etc years ago.

4. Thoughts of _____________ fill my head. Key West. I am missing the beach. It is colder than h..l in OK today. Brrrr

5. I wish I could wear ______________. Mini skirts. I miss them because I do have great legs, but short skirts are a thing of the past for me.

6. Bagpipes ________. Remind me of my brother's funeral. They were the only live music. A good friend played & piped my bro to his grave as his casket was carried between rows of his fellow police officers. It was awesome.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to _____, tomorrow my plans include _____ and Sunday, I want to _____! Putting on my sweats & watching TV with my furkids. Sat will be sleeping in & taking it easy. Sunday means laundry & reading the papers.

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Have a wonderful weekend everyone!!




Blessed be....

Blessings

These Are My Wishes For You

Sandra Sturtz Hauss

May you find serenity and tranquility in a world you may not always understand.

May the pain you have known and the conflict you have experienced give you the strength to walk through life facing each new situation with courage and optimism.

Always know that there are those whose love and understanding will always be there, even when you feel most alone.

May a kind word, a reassuring touch, and a warm smile be yours every day of your life, and may you give these gifts as well as receive them.

May the teachings of those you admire become part of you, so that you may call upon them. Remember, those whose lives you have touched and who have touched yours are always a part of you, even if the encounters were less than you would have wished.

It is the content of the encounter that is more important than its form.

May you not become too concerned with material matters, but instead place immeasurable value on the goodness in your heart.

Find time in each day to see beauty and love in the world around you.

Realize that what you feel you lack in one regard you may be more than compensated for in another.

What you feel you lack in the present may become one of your strengths in the future.

May you see your future as one filled with promise and possibility.

Learn to view everything as a worthwhile experience.

May you find enough inner strength to determine your own worth by yourself, and not be dependent on another's judgment of your accomplishments.

May you always feel loved.

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Blessed be...

It's been 4 years

It has been four years today since my darlin' brother lost his battle with cancer. He fought a good fight, never felt sorry for himself, & always lifted up those around him. He would not want us to grieve. He would want us to live fully, & I have been trying so hard to do just that. To live the life he could not finish. He was 47 yrs old, just 2 1/2 months short of his 48th birthday when he crossed from this life to the Other Side. His faith was unwavering & he left this life with smile of joy on his lips. So, I have lifted a glass of wine in his honor. I have toasted his life, I have thanked him for not only teaching me how to live, but also how to die.

He loved the beach, the sun. He loved to ride (he was a biker at heart) & the wind in his face was his therapy. Today, as it did on the day he left & as it has continued to do each November 15th since, the weather turned. It is cold & the wind is blowing strongly. Each anniversary of my brother's death brings winter to whatever part of OK I am in. Today, I was in Dallas all day (Sparky planned the trip & took me everywhere I wanted to go shopping. He knows the day & he honored it as, I think, Dave asked him to...taking care of me) & winter arrived there too. I know you left in the sunshine that broke through that morning, but it brought winter to my heart & to OK that day. I love you, I miss you & I will with each breath I take. You are my hero!!

Cheers, bro!! til we meet again in our Father's House.

Blessed be...

Every Woman...

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A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE …enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... .something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...a youth she’s content to leave behind….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...a past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age….
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ….a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...one friend who always makes her laugh… and one who lets her cry…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ..a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored…
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE... .a feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to fall in love without losing herself.
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without; ruining the friendship…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…when to try harder… and WHEN TO WALK AWAY…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that she can’t change the length of her calves,the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…that her childhood may not have been perfect…but its over…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she would and wouldn’t do for love or more…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…how to live alone… even if she doesn’t like it…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..whom she can trust,whom she can’t,and why she shouldn’t take it personally…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…where to go…be it to her best friend’s kitchen table…or a charming inn in the woods…when her soul needs soothing…
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW…what she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…and a year…
-Pamela Redmond Satran

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Blessed be...

Lost Puppy

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I'm out of control and at times I'm hard to deal with..but, if you can't handle me at my worst, then you don't deserve me at my best."- Marilyn Monroe

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Well said, Marilyn!! The same could be said about me. In fact, I am saying this about myself. But that is not really what's on my mind today. Today I am, as I have been since the weekend, thinking about my weight. I have had weight issues all my life. Thought I was fat when I wasn't, had anorexia twice, ballooned overnight & found out my thyroid is less than functioning. I lost alot of weight after that & maintained many years. Came to grips that I would never be rail-thin again. Didn't own a set of scales for 10 yrs. Well, clothes aren't looking quite right on me, my doc prescribed the wrong thyroid hormone dosage, got that corrected, felt better, began to hate my body, bought a scale. OMG!!!! I am 50 lbs heavier than I thought &, quite frankly, after some research I really need to lose about 100 lbs. OMG!!! I am so depressed!! So, what did I do this week?? Ate all the crap in my kitchen (sweets, etc) to get rid of them because I hate throwing away food. Now I have to get my butt (my big-assed butt) in gear, begin again with yoga, pilates, walking, running, anything to get this blankidee blank weight off. I am so sick of being this size. I used to be one of those women who walked into a room & guys stared. I was a presence. Now I am just old & fat!! I don't mind being older-I relish the white hair (I earned it), I embrace the wisdom that I have now (boy, did I lack wisdom at 20, 30, early 40's). But I just hate the weight. I have to get motivated.

I think the motivation thing is hard right now because while I am not unhappy, I am not happy either. I don't dislike my job, I just don't particularly like it. Life just is right now. I exist. While my Mom & I are speaking again I don't really care if we communicate or not. While I see Sparky every weekend I don't care if we spend time together or not. I just seem to have hit a blah stage. Nothing excites me. My only joy is spending time with my furkids. They make me laugh & give so much love. I have love in my life--my sister-in-love, Butterflies, my son & grands. I can honestly say I don't want a man in my life full time because I don't want to put up with what it takes to make a relationship work. I have never been in a really good relationship so maybe I just don't know what I am missing.

But right now I have to lose this WEIGHT!! HELP!!!

Blessed be...

The Times They Are A Changing...

Our New President, Barack Obama

May God Bless him, give him courage, & guide his every decision




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John McCain, a class act to the end as evidenced by his speech last night in conceding his defeat for the office of President of the United States of America.

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MCCAIN: Thank you. Thank you, my friends. Thank you for coming here on this beautiful Arizona evening.My friends, we have — we have come to the end of a long journey. The American people have spoken, and they have spoken clearly. A little while ago, I had the honor of calling Sen. Barack Obama to congratulate him.

(BOOING)

Please. To congratulate him on being elected the next president of the country that we both love. In a contest as long and difficult as this campaign has been, his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance. But that he managed to do so by inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence in the election of an American president is something I deeply admire and commend him for achieving. This is an historic election, and I recognize the special significance it has for African-Americans and for the special pride that must be theirs tonight. I've always believed that America offers opportunities to all who have the industry and will to seize it. Sen. Obama believes that, too.

But we both recognize that, though we have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our nation's reputation and denied some Americans the full blessings of American citizenship, the memory of them still had the power to wound.

A century ago, President Theodore Roosevelt's invitation of Booker T. Washington to dine at the White House was taken as an outrage in many quarters. America today is a world away from the cruel and frightful bigotry of that time. There is no better evidence of this than the election of an African-American to the presidency of the United States.

Let there be no reason now ... Let there be no reason now for any American to fail to cherish their citizenship in this, the greatest nation on Earth. Sen. Obama has achieved a great thing for himself and for his country. I applaud him for it, and offer him my sincere sympathy that his beloved grandmother did not live to see this day. Though our faith assures us she is at rest in the presence of her Creator and so very proud of the good man she helped raise.

Obama and I have had and argued our differences, and he has prevailed. No doubt many of those differences remain. These are difficult times for our country. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face.

I urge all Americans ... I urge all Americans who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but offering our next president our goodwill and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world, and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger, better country than we inherited. Whatever our differences, we are fellow Americans.

And please believe me when I say no association has ever meant more to me than that. It is natural. It's natural, tonight, to feel some disappointment. But tomorrow, we must move beyond it and work together to get our country moving again. We fought — we fought as hard as we could. And though we feel short, the failure is mine, not yours.

AUDIENCE: No!

MCCAIN: I am so...

AUDIENCE: (CHANTING)

MCCAIN: I am so deeply grateful to all of you for the great honor of your support and for all you have done for me. I wish the outcome had been different, my friends.

AUDIENCE MEMBER: We do, too (OFF-MIKE)

MCCAIN: The road was a difficult one from the outset, but your support and friendship never wavered. I cannot adequately express how deeply indebted I am to you. I'm especially grateful to my wife, Cindy, my children, my dear mother ... my dear mother and all my family, and to the many old and dear friends who have stood by my side through the many ups and downs of this long campaign. I have always been a fortunate man, and never more so for the love and encouragement you have given me. You know, campaigns are often harder on a candidate's family than on the candidate, and that's been true in this campaign. All I can offer in compensation is my love and gratitude and the promise of more peaceful years ahead.

I am also — I am also, of course, very thankful to Gov. Sarah Palin, one of the best campaigners I've ever seen ... one of the best campaigners I have ever seen, and an impressive new voice in our party for reform and the principles that have always been our greatest strength ... her husband, Todd, and their five beautiful children ... for their tireless dedication to our cause, and the courage and grace they showed in the rough and tumble of a presidential campaign. We can all look forward with great interest to her future service to Alaska, the Republican Party and our country.

To all my campaign comrades, from Rick Davis and Steve Schmidt and Mark Salter, to every last volunteer who fought so hard and valiantly, month after month, in what at times seemed to be the most challenged campaign in modern times, thank you so much. A lost election will never mean more to me than the privilege of your faith and friendship. I don't know — I don't know what more we could have done to try to win this election. I'll leave that to others to determine. Every candidate makes mistakes, and I'm sure I made my share of them. But I won't spend a moment of the future regretting what might have been. This campaign was and will remain the great honor of my life, and my heart is filled with nothing but gratitude for the experience and to the American people for giving me a fair hearing before deciding that Sen. Obama and my old friend Sen. Joe Biden should have the honor of leading us for the next four years.

(BOOING)

Please. Please. I would not — I would not be an American worthy of the name should I regret a fate that has allowed me the extraordinary privilege of serving this country for a half a century. Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant. That is blessing enough for anyone, and I thank the people of Arizona for it.

AUDIENCE: USA. USA. USA. USA.

MCCAIN: Tonight — tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this country and for all its citizens, whether they supported me or Sen. Obama — whether they supported me or Sen. Obama.

I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former opponent and will be my president.

And I call on all Americans, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties, but to believe, always, in the promise and greatness of America, because nothing is inevitable here.

Americans never quit.

We never surrender.

We never hide from history.

We make history.

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Blessed be...

Courage

Talk about Courage!!!

Subject: Ed "Too Tall to Fly" Freeman

A measure of heroism that is not so obvious in the Mel Gibson movie:"We Were Soldiers Once......And Young

You're an 18 or 19 year old kid. You're critically wounded, and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley, November 14,1965. LZ Xray, Vietnam. Your Infantry Unit is outnumbered 8 to 1, and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the medevac helicopters to stop coming in.You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns, and you know you're not getting out. Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away, and you'll never see them again. As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day. Then, over the machine gun noise, you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter, and you look up to see a Huey, but it doesn't seem real, because no medevac markings are on it. Ed "Too Tall" Freeman is coming for you. He's not a medevac, so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire, after the medevac's were ordered not to come. He's coming anyway. And he drops it in, and sits there in the machine gun fire, they load 2 or 3 of you onboard, as they drop off much needed water and ammunition. Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire, to the Doctors and Nurses. And, he kept coming back......13 more times..... and took about 30 of you and your buddies out, who would never have gotten out.

Medal of Honor Recipient Ed Freeman died Wednesday Sept. 3, 2008 at the age of 80, in Boise, Idaho.Thanks Ed....... Blue Skies forever.

I was a war protester back in the day, but I married a Vietnam Vet. The war took a toll on him & does to this day I believe. We have been divorced 29 yrs. We had a wonderful son together, but even the father/son relationship has suffered. I was so moved by this story. A man who saw his duty not, I believe, because he was "supposed" to do this-he was not, he was not ordered to do this. But instead he was heroic because that quite simply was who he was as a person. I hope we all become a little more heroic today.

Blessed be...

Election Day

Today, finally, I got to vote. There was a line at my voting place at 7:20am when I arrived & I was out the door by 7:50am. So not too bad. Made it to work on time. In OK, however, you are allowed 2 hours during the work day to vote if need be.

Now the waiting begins anew. No matter who you support I hope you exercised your Constitutional right to vote for the candidate of your choice. It is so important that we exercise this Freedom.

Blessed be...

County Cork Ireland

My people come from County Cork, at least my Irish ancestors. Finding that it is on the coast makes me understand my (& my bother's) love of the sea. The smell of the sea is in our blood-it come to this Country with our ancestors. The beauty of the windswept coastline. It is what touched me about the the Oregon/Washington coast, and why that part of the Country calls me back more each day.

It is from both my Irish & Native American heritages that I get my "second sight", my love of the land, my affinity for Nature, my superstitions. I always, in my youth, had very much the look of the Irish upon me -blue eyes, freckles, reddish hair. But as I matured more & more my Native side surfaces. Most everyone I meet comments that I must be Native. I like the idea that who I am shows so on the outside. After all, who says you can't be a blue-eyed Indian.

An Irish Prayer

May God give you...

For every storm, a rainbow,

For every tear, a smile,

For every care, a promise,

And a blessing in each trial.

For every problem life sends,

A faithful friend to share,

For every sigh, a sweet song,

And an answer for each prayer.

Blessed be...

My favorite poet

Touched by an Angel


We, unaccustomed to courage
exiles from delight
live coiled in shells of loneliness
until love leaves its high holy temple
and comes into our sight to liberate us into life.
Love arrives and in its train come ecstasies
old memories of pleasure
ancient histories of pain.
Yet if we are bold, love strikes away the chains of fear from our souls.
We are weaned from our timidity
In the flush of love's light we dare be brave
And suddenly we see that love costs all we are and will ever be.
Yet it is only love which sets us free.


Maya Angelou







Blessed be...

new

सुंदरप्रमाद

The above is Sanskrit & means "A Beautiful Mistake". There are no mistakes in life, just opportunites for growth, learning, & humility. If we see each so called mis-step as an opportunity then life & the living of it will take on a whole new perspective. Sometimes we spend alot of time on "if only, "what if", "coulda, shoulda, whoulda", etc. Each twist & turn of life is an experience we have chosen-some more conscious than others, but still chosen. We, I believe, choose our time to leave our Spirit Home & have a human experience here, we choose the experiences we will have here as a way to grow & become more enlightened on our journey of self-awareness. We also leave this life when our work is done. Do we choose our time to die? I'm not sure, but I do know we do not stay here one moment past the time all of our work is done. That is the cycle of Life, Death, Re-birth. From Spiritual being, to having a Human experience, to completion of our Work, to our return Home once again in Spirit form. I know in my heart that we are ever-living beings full of energy (call it Soul) who have lived & will continue to live forever. As I have said before-Death is not the end, but another new beginning. We go Home to share our experiences & the lessons learned.


Beautiful mistakes--oh my!! I have had my share. Some were so much more beautiful than the others, but from them all I have become the woman I am today. I have shed my skin several times in rebirths & reinventions of myself until I have become the woman I believe I was meant to be-a woman I really like. I am much more loving, tolerant, understanding, compassionate, & informed than I was when I left Smalltown, OK so very many years ago. I have lived so many lives in those years-traveled so many miles. It has been an amazing journey...& it it continues.


I was once so narrow minded, so closed off. Now I embrace the differences in everyone. I see people through their hearts not their skin or orientation or political views. I think I see the real person now. I accept, embrace, & love the differences I find in others. Through those differences I find out things about myself & it challenges my belief system. Sometimes it even helps me to change a belief or fine tune a thought. I love those challenges. I found many such experiences in the bigger cities in which I have lived, but I am finding them here also. I am also finding opportunities to voice what I have learned, what I have come to believe. Maybe, just maybe my voice will help someone else to grow, to think, to learn, to question & to find his/her own true voice. Inside each of our belief systems is the "gray area" that area that we thought was so black & white--that is until we take a situation & put ourself there as a participant not an onlooker. Then the perspective starts to change. Then we see the other person's view. Then we grow. Then we become more compassionate, more tolerant, less judgemental.


Reflect on your own Beautiful Mistakes. Challenge yourself today!


Blessed be...

To Thine Ownself Be True...

As I was getting logged on this morning "To Thine Ownself Be True" was one of the first things I saw. Now I do not believe in coincidence-everything happens for a reason. A lesson to be learned, a lesson to be taught. There is meaning in everything. At least as far as I am concerned. That is my belief.

In thinking about this phrase for the last hour or so I realized it goes along with everything else that has been running through my mind this week-the boyfriend issue, etc. Also, I found out (20 yrs later) that my Nanny, whom I adored, actually wrote me out of her will. DUH!! All these years I had been told she left everything to my Mom (her daughter-in-law) because my Dad had already died (he was an only child & my brother & myself were the only heirs) & wanted my Mom to get everything. Not true. She completely wrote me out (I found the will when I was going through stuff for the yard sale). Everything would have gone to my son, my brother, & his son if Mom has already died. My brother would have been the trustee for the boys. Supposedly this was all because no one liked my husband at the time. Whatever! To make a long story short, the money was all eventually spent on my brother & his son. My son has never gotten anything from my family. It is so sad & makes him feel like crap where his Grandmother is concerned (I will NOT be sharing this latest discovery with him). So, as always I have been lied to once more. But, it has been a lot of years since Nanny died, on my birthday, so I will go on & not dwell on this latest crap. Peace out on this subject!

To Thine Ownself Be True...immortal words. Words by which, in all actuality, I have always lived. Guess it is kinda my creed. I have heard my own music & danced to it. I have really never cared what others thought, but have lived my life doing what I felt was "right". Right for me, right for my son, right at any given time in my life. I have traveled, lived in many cities far from Smalltown, OK. I have been to town, seen the elephant, & have the t-shirt. Boy do I have the t-shirts!! Life has always been one big adventure for me. Pack up, hit the road, see where the path lead. It has lead many places-some good, some bad, but always a learning experience. Always a path of growth & discovery about me-who I am, what I want. I have found out I can do just about anything I set my mind to doing, I have grown into a loving, compassionate, hard-working, tolerant, understanding, passion filled woman with a terrific sense of humor & the ability to see the positive in Life. Far far from the girl I was when I started the Journey. I have found my belief system about the Universe & the After Life. I have faced my demons, I have celebrated my loves, but most of all I have lived. After all isn't that what Life is meant to be--Living & Discovering.

People have commented on my phrase "Blessed be" so I thought I would close with its meaning.

This is a wiccan salutation meant to empower both parties with blessed be powers. The Blessed Be salutation is a process of transferring positive energy to both parties. To say "Blessed be" to someone indicates that you wish good and positive things upon them.

Pronunciation: Bless-ed be

So to all of you today & always

Blessed be...

Monday

Monday, Monday -can't trust that day...

Rainy Days & Mondays always make me...

But today Monday means I am a winner!! Over at Mama Bear's Den (you can access her blog through my favorites) was a give-away drawing for some really cute fall items plus CHOCOLATE (every woman's favorite). Well, low & behold I won. Go figure. Thanks!! Dawn--your blog is always so much fun. Visit Dawn sometime. She is a homeschooling Mom of two beautiful young people who just moved to one of my favorite places on earth--Oregon!!

It is snowing in Montana-3 feet in the mountains so far-- guess I am glad to still be in OK. The trees are just starting to turn in my part of OK. Should be really lovely in a week or so. Rain predicted for tonight through Tuesday. It is Fall after all.

Visited with Mom & Pops Saturday. They have so much stuff after combining their households that some of it just has to go. So...Mom volunteered me to run their yard sale next weekend. Living an hour away makes it quite an adventure. But we are organized, they have their instructions for the week, & I will be there next weekend to get that stuff moved outta there. Money, money, money!! LOL!

New job is going good. In this economy, I just feel so very blessed to have a good paying job. It will allow me to get caught up from the weeks I was out of work &, hopefully, start getting a little put aside. We shall see.

Thinking alot this weekend about changing my life some more. I no longer correspond or talk to Big Guy. That just finally ran its course. Had a real awakening one night when we were talking that the conversations weren't adding anything positive to my life. In fact, they were just adding to the stress. So, I told him we need a break. But, for me, the break will be permanent.

Sparky & I still see each other & talk daily. But, that relationship is not adding any value to my life either--not emotionally or romantically at least. I still have some trouble totally trusting hime after our "weird" breakup of several years ago. So, I will continue to evaluate the situation, but I know in my heart it is coming to an end. He is a good man & has been such a big help to me over the last couple of years, but you cannot stay in something that doesn't make you happy & that is going nowhere just out of a sense of obligation. Didn't stay in my marriages for that reason so sure cannot stay in a "dating" thing that will never be anything else for that reason. Much to ponder, much to decide. I'm in a rut & must get out. Send me good vibes!!

So this week I will be figuring out my options!

Blessed be....

Thoughts

If I should stay I would only be in your way

So I'll go, and yet I know I'll think of you each step of the way

And I will always love you

I will always love you

Bittersweet memories That's all I have, and I'm taking with me

Goodbye, please don't you cry

Cause we both know, I'm not what you need

But, I will always love you I will always love you I hope life

Treats you kind

And I hope you have all you dream of

I wish you joy And happiness

But above all this, I wish you love

And I will always love you I will always love you

Yes, I will always love you

I will always love you

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.....by Dolly Parton

******************************************************

This song was playing in my head all night. So I thought why?? Every now & then a ghost will wander through my heart--a ghost of a love gone bad, a lover left (for valid reasons), a memory of all the good times that could not overshadow the bad. Still, ex #2 was, is, will always be the one I loved beyond all reason-an addiction I could not get past. The one who will always hold my heart-even though he stomped it good. Still, love knows no reason-it is what it is when you give your heart away. Just because we brought out the worst in each other does not mean there was no love. At times, the love was all that kept us together. But, a love like that can kill you when it goes over an edge. This one crossed that point & I knew I had to leave. It was hard to do. I have no regrets about leaving, but I sure do miss the good times. So...Cowboy I do love you, just like I promised that will never change. But I had to save myself because I could not save you. I hope you have conquered your demons & found peace, contentment, & again love.

Blessed be...

On & on...

The Road Goes Ever On

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.
-- J R R Tolkien

Wander lust is in my heart, my very soul longs for the open road, a new adventure. I am more cautious these days, no running with no plan, no destination. I plan my roaming more these days-so stifling. I long for the day when I can again load up & hit the road. No destination, no plan-just me, the furkids, & the open road. Back roads offer such discovery, so many things to see & explore. Old towns, old houses, old barns. Sometimes people that time has almost forgotten. Motels with really crappy TV & no internet. Back to a slower pace, a more peaceful time. Time to take a deep breath & really, finally, exhale. Feel all the stress just leave in one long exhaled breath.

I had not realized how much of myself I had lost in the last year & a half with my former job. I became someone I almost did not know. I was hard & tough at work. No time for BS, just get the job done. In truth, I am more laid back than that. Just kinda easy, breezy taking Life as it comes. So my karma was a bit out of whack. I realized it when I was out of work & had time to reflect on many things. Now it is all coming together in a very peaceful, contented way. I am working my way back from an abyss. Now I realize that I must focus on myself & get back to the spiritual, peaceful existance I love. So, I am getting ready to start yoga again, maybe even Pilates (I have recorded several sessions on Veria-great channel on Dish Network). I am starting to read again. Different things-magazines-I really like Science of the Mind-novels-ordered some Ann Rule the other day-watching a lot of Paranormal State on A&E, getting ready to start reading Sylvia Browne again also. Finished "The Last Lecture" by Randy Pausch-a MUST read for everyone. The lecture can be found online at YouTube as well as other sites. Well worth the time.

Massage (I have been twice in the last couple of weeks) is getting all the built up stress & knots out of my muscles. The therapist is wonderful-not a good as the one I saw before, but definately has a good touch. I think I will go for reflexology for the next time & see what that unleashes.

So for now, I will wander within my own spirit. Wander to that place where all is peaceful, mellow, & laid back. Deep in meditation to find my centered balanced self once more.

Blessed be...

Moments

Moments...they come upon me unawares. From nowhere, in the middle of the workday I get a flash of past days. Lazy, lovely, happy days. Days spent in the sunshine, walking fields of green, birds overhead, cattle lying in the shade or belly deep in the pond on a hot Oklahoma summer day. Time alone on a dairy farm full of Jersey cows. Accompanied on my wanderings by a border collie. Lazy, hazy days of childhood. Days when adulthood seemed an eternity away. Now it seems but a moment from a carefree childhood summer to busy days at a computer.

I have wandered my whole life. First just pastures, woods, fields, country roads. Then highways, cities, mountains, deserts--far from that Oklahoma farm. I rode horses in my childhood, Harleys in my wanderings. But no matter how far I traveled, no matter who I was on any given day--the Oklahoma Farm Girl was never far away. Hidden in my heart just waiting to reappear.